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AUGUST '08 ARCHIVES 9:47 PM 8/3/2008well, here come the constant updates every other day or so. it's been proven that the frequency with which i blog is directly proportional to my stress level at work and inversely proportional to the amount of sleep i get. so yesterday morning i was naturally, we took advantage of all the calories we burned off in the morning and went to farmers market to eat afterwards. it turns out tom is doing LA leggers too (although in a much faster pace group than us....show off) so there will be many interesting saturday morning breakfasts to come. i told tom that i would catch up to him one day and he laughed in the way that suggested he didn't really believe me. what i didn't tell him was how i'm planning to cheat my ass off by getting somebody to drive me to the finish line well in advance of him crossing it. it'll be a cheap victory, BUT A VICTORY NONTHELESS. after breakfast, me and keri decided to check out the OC fair in order to run up the risk of heart disease even further. first of all, can i say how freaking disgusting half the foods there are? i ate funnel cake, bbq chicken, french fries, soft serve ice cream and a caramel apple over a span of about four hours. it was awful....awful good, i mean. keri then said to heck with living past the age of 40 and proceeded to eat a deep fried snickers bar. i took a bite and was too grossed out to continue. we were too full to go on the crazy rides, so we just walked around and checked out the rip off games. one of them involved a pool table and while we were standing there watching suckers throw away their money i got blatantly hit on by a crazy carnie who offered to buy me a game. keri witnessed the whole thing and didn't even attempt to bail me out, that ass. afterwards she was like, "man. i just don't know what it is about you." me neither, dude. me neither. when i eventually made some excuse and started walking away, he shouted, "come back later when you're not so shy!" haha. in all honesty, i might have given in if the prizes were cute enough. considering how i've probably spent over a million dollars in this lifetime trying to win stuffed spongebobs worth less than $3, i think it's about time i got hooked up with a freebie. anyway, here are some pictures:  that's not a corndog, that's keri's heart attack on a stick. MEDIC!!  my ice cream cone was melting like no other in this picture.  in case you were wondering, the theme of the fair was cheese. random.  keri and the super aloof llama.  the pig! right after this picture was taken, two goats tried to eat my dress.  this poor wallaby was huddled in the corner away from all the other animals and kids. clearly, it was not happy about being harassed by total strangers.  so here is me traumatizing the wallaby some more. ugh. but it's so cute! p.s. something slightly disturbing: i was listening to this song on the radio earlier this week and thought it was pretty catchy until i found out that it was one of jesse mccartney's songs. little boys should NOT be singing about big kid topics! all right, so he's actually 21 now but still, i felt like a pedophile when i saw the video. also, listen very closely to the lyrics - "Call your shorty and tell him you found a new man," "You're the baddest little thing that I’ve ever seen," "Man, that thing you got behind you is amazing." can you believe a white kid sings this song? and actually manages to pull it off!?!? what is the world coming to? as an aside, those lyrics are remarkably similar to some of worst the pick up lines i've heard. haha. too bad they were all delivered by complete weirdos. all right, i'm out (for real this time). have a good week, kids. i'm sorry for all the times i was cranky this summer and i'm sorry in advance for all the times i will be cranky over the next few months. my goal is to patch up my friendships after busy season ends. sigh. wish me luck. later. 10:47 PM 8/6/2008  BECAUSE SOME DAYS YOU'RE JUST IN TOO FOUL OF A MOOD TO POST PICTURES OF PRETTY FLOWERS OR EXPENSIVE PURSES. today was our 3 miler in santa monica. woooo, piece of cake. 'cept for when i told lynn, one minute into the run, "dude, i'm tired already." it got better towards the end, although i still don't understand where some of these people get all their energy from. i was also informed by the black gentleman running behind me that the reason the mini water bottles kept falling out of lynn's water belt (which i was wearing) was because of the size of my butt. i think he actually used the word "derriere" but i was too mortified to listen any further. he probably sensed my discomfort because he then told me, "but it's cute though!" which only served to traumatize me even more. my mouth dropped open and i looked over at lynn, who was laughing and trying to tell me to take it as a compliment. ok, seriously, when a black guy is commenting on the size of your ass (and you still have to run the last mile knowing full well he's STARING at it the way i stare at people in spandex), your first instinct is to crawl under a rock and die. i don't care if he meant it in a nice way - next week i am running in a giant t-shirt that comes all the way down to my knees. anyway, last week i read jack's copy of lone survivor: the eyewitness account of operation redwing and the lost heroes of SEAL team 10. here's my favorite excerpt (i won't tell you where in the book it is or explain the context of the quote, just in case you want to read it): "It was the stupidest, most southern-fried, lamebrained decision I ever made in my life. I must have been out of my mind, I had actually cast a vote which I knew could sign our death warrant. I'd turned into a fucking liberal, a half-assed, no-logic nitwit, all heart, no brain, and the judgment of a jackrabbit." that last sentence alone is what killed the book for me. for the first hundred pages, i was doing an okay job of looking past the author's huge ego and terrible writing. (although honestly, how many times can one use the adverb "absolutely" in a book?) but as soon as he equated liberals to no-logic nitwits, any respect i had for this guy's storytelling skills plummeted instantly. i mean, for a guy who is trying to pay tribute to the heroism of his buddies, he sure knows how to piss off a portion of his reading audience. i'll tell you one thing - the story itself is amazing. the valor and stamina of these navy SEALs is something that should be admired and respected by every single american. no matter where you fall in the political spectrum, there's no denying that these men are extraordinary. but to taint the book with misplaced rants about liberals and the media being responsible for the deaths of how many members of the armed forces demonstrates, to me at least, a serious lack of judgment. don't swear to defend the united states and then ostracize a significant portion of the population by calling them dumbasses. also, what is with the repeated insinuations about texas being the best state in the entire US (i beg to differ)? no other state produces citizens who are THAT in love with their own state - with the exception of NY maybe, but that's different. if some soldier or marine or navy SEAL from california wrote about how great CA was and how he was fighting on behalf of california, the governator and all californians, he'd be ripped to shreds in about two seconds. but somehow texas is exempt? yes, i get it, texans are super nice. so are plenty of other people from other states who don't go around proclaiming their superiority to the whole world. again, NY is the exception. haha. now i better stop before jack's head implodes from somebody attacking his precious state. "Texas is God's country!" tomorrow i'm heading up to the westside for a family friend's wedding. my sister is a bridesmaid (hahaha). though i guess i shouldn't really be laughing because i'm gonna be in her shoes (twice!) next year. just a friendly reminder to my engaged girlfriends: if either of you force me to wear a hideous dress, rest assured i'll put you in neon pleather minis when it's my turn. with stripper platforms. xoxoxo, darlings. i'll update more after the wedding. p.s. anybody catch the olympics opening ceremony last night? it was rather impressive. for a stupid commie country, anyways. the NBC commentator actually said he couldn't wait to witness the intense rivalry between china and taiwan (aka "chinese taipei") in the most hardcore of all hardcore olympic sports: ping pong. i nearly choked on the water i was drinking 'cause i was laughing so hard. never let somebody tell you asians aren't badasses! that being said, while i will always profess my undying loyalty to team USA, you can be damn sure i'll be watching that ping pong match and rooting taiwan on.  for my mom and dad - i guess liberalism runs in the family. sigh. 12:48 AM 8/12/08 pictures from sunday's wedding below. btw, i do not recommend getting hitched at noon in august in southern california, unless you are cool with all of the guests passing out from heatstroke.  one of the cutest flower girls i've ever seen in my entire life!  ok, so we all looked like dorks with the parasols, but they really did help shield the sun.  lisa & matt, looking somewhat excited after the ceremony.  my cousins nearly shut down the open bar 10 minutes into the reception. i was in the restroom when i got a text from nick: "wow. i'm buzzed."  this is the only time you'll ever see me wearing less makeup than my sister.  cake cutting. duh.  scott, lisa, me and godzilla. scott made me cry when i was three, though i can't remember why. i probably deserved it though.  randy: "man, your stupid hat is getting in the way of this picture!"  look at the groom getting all grope-y with my mom!  RUN!!!!!!! 9:35 PM 8/13/08 so china just got busted for its little chinese girl lip-synching scam. well gee, that's a surprise. i mean, come on, this is a country whose national pastime involves squashing human rights and oppressing innocent citizens. did you really think it would allow an average-looking child to represent the face of china? personally i think they should have selected a real troll, if they were trying draw a parallel between the prettiness of the person to the inherent beauty of the country. anyway, since i admit to being slightly biased, i'll let you guys form your own opinions about the commies. here is a list of good and bad things to come out of china in the past decade: BAD EXPORTS FROM CHINA: 1. fake designer handbags. 2. diseased meats. 3. bai ling. for the love of god, somebody slap some fashion sense into her. 4. lead poisoning. 5. environmental pollution. 6. crappy electronics. 7. weaponry (to sudan). GOOD EXPORTS FROM CHINA: 1. yao ming. well, there you have it: objective evidence of why china sucks. yao ming isn't even a real export, since china keeps reeling him back in year after year. i feel sorry for all of the poor chinese athletes - they look absolutely miserable. but i guess i'd be pretty unhappy too, if i knew my livelihood depended on my ability to win a gold medal on behalf of the motherland. i do have one more comment before i sign off:  ok, back to work. one month 'til 9/15. i need to curb my ranting, it's really starting to take up too much of my free time. all fifteen minutes of it. haha. later, kids.  don't be jealous. so we ran our four miles yesterday morning, and i was feeling all good about myself until i caught the women's marathon last night and saw that the ladies were averaging about a five minute and twenty second mile. that's insane. instead of feeling inspired, i was depressed. i can't even run one 5-minute mile, much less twenty six of them. on the other hand, some of the runners looked like men (i.e. the chick from china with her weird front mullet). i think, because i am such a superficial bastard, if you ever made me choose between keeping my bra size or running a five minute mile, i'd choose my chest. dresses don't look good on you when you're flat as a board. but if you promised me a consistent seven minute mile for a downgrade in one cup size, i'd do it in a heartbeat. anyway, i'm really sure you all wanted to hear my thoughts on boobs and running. sorry. i also caught phelps' swims last night and friday night. we went to a wine bar in culver city friday night for tom's birthday, and the entire place came to a screeching halt during the last couple seconds of the insanely close butterfly. there's nothing quite like watching an exciting sporting event in public with other people who are all rooting for the same team. usually i end up stuck in a bar with trojans, even in the westside (which is completely unacceptable, but that's another rant for another day). back to friday night - the entire place was yelling and cheering when it was announced that phelps pulled himself out of 7th place to win by the slimmest of all margins. unbelievable. tom the sports nerd was still gushing about it saturday morning. THAT is what the olympics are supposed to be about, not stories involving underage gymnasts and doping scandals.  "we will crush the americans." hahaha. nooo, not this time, buddy.  this picture is completely gratuitous. ladies, you're welcome. 12:39 AM 8/20/08 additional proof that me and lynn are gonna be the worst bridesmaids EVER in the history of weddings: erin: ok, so what days do you guys have open for my wedding next summer? lynn: the last half of june and first two weeks of july are bad. connie: and i work straight from mid-july through all of august. lynn: oh, and keri's wedding is july 18th! don't pick something around there! connie: july 18th? i thought it was may 25th. erin: huh? no, i think it's july 25th... connie: whoa, i just checked my calendar, may 25th is a monday. lynn: i'm pretty sure it's july 18th. connie: was i on crack when i came up with may 25th? don't answer that. so really, she picked a day in july? lynn: umm....yeah. connie: i guess the 18th is starting to sound familiar. ok, it's the 18th. lynn: yeah. erin: keri, can you confirm the date of your wedding? we're all coming up with different dates. keri: IT'S JULY 25TH!!! connie: oh. jeez. my bad. lynn: whoops. hahahaha. so that was a quick paraphrase of the billions of emails and phone calls we exchanged yesterday at work. keri and erin, if i were you guys, i'd fire me and lynn right NOW. five bucks says we show up wearing the wrong dress to the wrong wedding. "oh crap. keri's was the brown dress, huh? ooh, she's gonna be pissed!" haha. but don't worry guys, we'll get our acts together (eventually), i swear. maybe i need to hire a wedding coordinator just to handle my bridesmaid duties. I'M SO LAME. while i am on the subject of weddings, my coworker sent me today's dear abby, which i've copied and pasted below for your reading pleasure: DEAR ABBY: I despise wearing rings, which is a problem because I plan to become engaged. I'm OK with a plain wedding band, but baubles on appendages interfere with useful work and creativity, and they turn me off. I have an expensive heirloom ring I would gladly give to my lady if she'd keep it in the safe deposit box where it belongs. I don't want to insure it, deal with it if she loses it, or know I caused her to be injured if a thug tried to steal it. If I give it to her, she'll want to wear it. She doesn't need an ornament to prove she's special or loved. What can I use in lieu of an engagement ring? I'd rather give her an annuity or something useful. The thought of a $10,000 ring on a hand that belongs to a productive and intelligent working woman suggests self-indulgent exhibitionism. I know I'm fighting an uphill battle, but my feelings are valid to me. I feel the same when I see rings in the workplace and socially. Why not just duct-tape a $1,000 bill to your forehead if you want to call attention to yourself? Any ideas? -- PRACTICAL IN DENVER say it with me now: WHAT. THE. HECK!??! here is what my response would be: DEAR PRACTICAL: You say you're planning to become engaged, but have you actually found your victim yet? If not, good luck landing a "productive" and "intelligent" woman who is gonna agree with your rather questionable views. Please explain to me the practicality of keeping a $10,000 heirloom stored away in a safe deposit box. A wedding ring belongs on a woman's finger as a symbol of commitment, jackass. Just because a person happens to like pretty gemstones doesn't make him or her "self-indulgent." If anything, spending who knows how long writing such an obnoxious letter suggests to me that you're probably the most self-indulgent of them all. Why not just send it to a nationally syndicated advice column if you want to call attention to yourself? Oh, right. You already did that. I happen to consider myself "productive" and somewhat "intelligent," and if some man ever offered me some piece of sh*t annuity in lieu of an engagement ring, I would advise him to shove that annuity where the sun don't shine. I don't need a single penny of anybody else's cash, thank you very much, I make enough on my own. You're right about one thing, though - your feelings are certainly valid to you. They're just completely stupid to the rest of the world. -- SELF-INDULGENT EXHIBITIONIST i guess this is why i don't write advice columns. but how could i not be mean? the part about not wanting to give her a ring because somebody might attack her for it is sort of like the equivalent of asking your woman to go out looking purposely frumpy in order to reduce the risk of her getting raped. seriously, what is wrong with some people out there? i actually looked up abby's real response after i wrote mine and hers was much more diplomatic. sorry, i just can't be that nice. ok, time to work. or run. or sit on my butt and eat ice cream and cheer on whomever china's competing. btw, last night i had the strangest dream i joined the army and had to go through boot camp. everything was fine and dandy but for some inexplicable reason, i was forced to wear a plaid skirt like some kinky japanese school girl (don't ask, i have no explanation). i even did push-ups in the skirt while a drill instructor yelled at me. knocking out the push-ups was a piece of cake, but i remember being really concerned about accidentally flashing somebody. weird, what does this mean? probably something along the lines of "i need to get more sleep." later, kids. p.s. almost forgot, here's today's tip of the day: if you ever decide to go walking with a girlfriend late at night and she challenges you to jump into a fountain and you stupidly decide to humor her by trampling through the bushes to get to the edge of the fountain, i urge you to SERIOUSLY RECONSIDER. chances are the bushes you're trampling through will have thorns sharp as butcher knives and you'll end up with several deep puncture wounds in your right calf. and then you'll have to use SIX hello kitty bandaids to stop the blood from gushing out everywhere. damn you, keri! just when the scars from the dog bites were finally starting to fade.... 3:23 PM 8/23/2008 so i'm at work right now, and apparently there's a bomb threat at the metro station across the street from me. some of my coworkers saw the little robot go in and pull out a bunch of identical bags - kinda neat. those bags are still sitting out on the corner of the street, pending additional examination by the bomb squad (i'm guessing). i'm not too worried because first of all, why would somebody want to blow up downtown LA on a saturday!? to kill all the accountants in a five block radius? there's nobody else here during the weekend! second, if the threat actually turns out to be legit and the bomb goes off, at least i won't have to work anymore (while E&Y is capable of many things, resurrecting the dead after they've been blown into five hundred pieces isn't one of them). however, what is slightly troubling to me at the moment is how the cops have sectioned off all areas of building, thereby restricting any access to the starbucks downstairs. i know this because ten minutes ago i tried to sneak out the front door with yumi (i really needed a refill, okay) and promptly got yelled at by a cop to HEY, GET BACK!! GET BACK NOW! yumi looked at me and whispered, "i bet we can outrun him." i thought about it for a second and told her i didn't feel like getting shot or tasered. because getting killed by a bomb = terrible tragedy. but getting shot by a cop = idiot move. and while some of you may think we were pretty stupid to risk our necks for a cup of coffee, NEVER underestimate the importance of caffeine to a CPA during busy season. want your taxes done right? stick an IV filled with tea in my thigh from june straight through october. in other news, i woke up at five twenty this morning to run five miles in santa monica. the last part of the run was a steep uphill climb and lynn decided that sprinting the whole way would be a smart move. huh. sometimes i don't know why i listen to her. we blew by all of the other people jogging at the normal pace up the incline (i.e. the non-masochists), and now i am limping around the office because my right hip is sore. i also have a blister on my right foot - afterwards lynn was like, "dude, you're supposed to put vaseline on your toes so you don't get blisters." yeah, thanks for the advance notice buddy. lastly, for all the running nerds out there who keep insisting "if you can do six miles, you can easily do twelve too," I'M NOT BUYING THAT CRAP. listen, did i ever tell you "hey, if you can maintain a solid 3.0 GPA, you can easily get to 4.0?" twelve miles is not the same as six miles. if it were that easy we wouldn't have to build up to it mile by mile every single week. duh. ok, back to work. note to bomb squad: if you are gonna blow up the bomb eventually, could you do it at my desk so i don't have to come into the offie tomorrow? thanks. man, i really, really need a happy nappy. somebody jab an IV in me now. 11:05 PM 8/27/2008 less than three weeks until 9/15.... look up the definition of "beyond screwed" in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of me, sitting at my desk eating CPK at 11 o'clock at night. speaking of which, earlier today i got an email from a coworker in woodland hills - the subject line read "EY Suicide Pool." i initially thought it was a sick game to see who would be the first person at EY to kill him/herself. don't laugh; years of public accounting will screw with your head. then i looked more closely at the message and realized it was for some football thing. seeing as how i have zero knowledge of football (except for the occasional facts tom and jack throw at me), i'd probably be better off betting on somebody actually committing suicide. yes, that is sick, i know, blame it on the sleep deprivation. so anyway, if anybody feels like sharing their football expertise with me, i'll buy in for $20. otherwise i will have to resort to picking teams by how cute the players are. fyi, that strategy kinda sucks. let's see, what else...it's been another rough week. i won't bore you all by going into the details but let's just say i am seriously considering a change of scenery. since i feel terrible about leaving you all with a boring update, i've decided to let my favorite ex-narc post on my blog for the time being. actually i didn't give him much choice - i pretty much just stole the following story. but what is he gonna do, sue me? Meth, Lies, and Videotape I have searched a lot of houses. Some nice, some not so nice. When you dig through people's personal belongings, you tend to find out a lot of their dirty little secrets. Just about each and everyone of us has a little something tucked back in the underwear drawer or shoved deep under the mattress that we would prefer nobody else ever see. Everytime I think I've seen everything, I lift a pair of Wal-Mart panties and get hit between the eyes with one more thing I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing about my fellow man. Most of the things we find, are, not surprisingly, sex related. Even the most outwardly average folks have their twisted little peccadilloes. Doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. Rich man, poor man, beggarman, thief; everybody's got secrets. From the plain vanilla to the plain freaky, I've probably held it between a gloved thumb and forefinger and said, "Holy shit, guys, check this out!" And nobody does freaky like speedfreaks. Nobody. You've heard the joke about tri-sexuals? They'll try anything? Pretty clever play on words there, don't you think? Yeah, me neither. But whoever made that up must've had meth people in mind. Because these twisted bastards will, sooner or later, try anything. Everything. Things that might make Larry Flynt cover his eyes and screech in his ruined voice, "Sweet Mother of God!" Methamphetamine, also known as meth, speed, crank, crystal, gak, and sometimes, by old timers, as go-fast, is a powerful stimulant. It can, among other things, heighten libido, lower inhibitions, and dramatically increase energy levels. It also can alter or amplify physical sensations, so pleasure during sex seems especially heightened. Tweakers have told me they have the best sex of their lives while amped up. Sex while straight seems less exciting by comparison, so doing the deed without meth becomes unthinkable. After awhile, the average speedfreak gets bored with regular, plain old guy-girl sex. It just doesn't do it for them anymore. So, like Dr. Ruth recommended, they "Schpice tinks up!" Preserving your sweet love for the ages is always a popular choice. I have seen some Polaroids that you would not believe. Or maybe you would. Sex toys of every size, shape, and description. Things that looked like you needed a degree in anatomy and a gasoline powered generator to use. Bondage stuff. A surprising number of strap-on dildos. That's right, ladies. Your meth loving man sometimes likes you to take control. One house, I found an old Army issue footlocker right beside the bed. Inside was some studded leather gear, various sex toys, porno mags, and several years worth of Polaroids. Easily over a thousand pictures documenting this particular couple's sexual escapades. Guest starring many, many other like minded tweakers. Everything from the fairly tame girl on girl pics to a mind searing assortment of man love to a soup of arms and legs and torsos that were impossible to identify. Years worth of twisted debauchery. Ah, the memories. Porn, porn, porn. Speedfreaks are avid porn collectors. Tattered and stained issues of Swank to cheaply made European specialty mags with titles like "Cherry Schoolgirl Tramps". Stacked between the dresser and the bed, or in the closet. Videotapes and DVD's. "Bondage Boys." "Big Jugs". "Prison Girls." Freaky, weird porn. "Milkers". "She-male Lovers." "Foot Fetish Mommies". And when I said they will try they anything, I meant it. Incest and child abuse are fairly common with tweakers. Mom not around? Tough luck, kid. Daddy's got needs. A lot of bi-sexual activity among the guys, as well. Up all night, tweaking with your buddy while watching "Black Anal Babes", what's a guy to do? A lot of these guys are ex-cons, so it's not like it's that big a step for them. Almost all of these people have some type of venereal disease. They share needles and each other. Female tweakers get passed around from speedfreak to speedfreak. Sharing is caring. Yesterday we hit a meth lab with ATF. They were after guns, since one of the gentlemen was a convicted felon, and we wanted the lab. We both got what we wanted. ATF got eight or nine rifles, we got a lab and close to twenty grams of fresh meth. Everybody went to jail. The two guys, both long time meth users in their late thirties, early forties, and their little girlfriend. Twenty one years old, by a couple of months. I saw her prom pictures, and at eighteen she was a looker. Model material. Three years later and her skin is already going bad. Scabby and pasty looking. Stringy hair. Bony and twitchy. Five more years and she'll be missing teeth. She'll look forty. I asked her which one of the guys she was with. She said neither, because they were bi. She said she was afraid to do anything with them, because they messed with each other and she was afraid of catching something. She should be, but I had to call bullshit on that. "Hold up. You're telling me that neither one of those guys is your boyfriend?" "Well, Danny thinks he is, but we don't do anything. He just lets me stay here. He's helping me." "Yeah, I believe it." "What's that mean?" "Let me ask you this: where do you sleep?" "That room back there." Pointing to a closet sized space with a mattress on the floor. "And where's Danny sleep?" "Uh...Same place." Thinking about it. "Well, sometimes. But we don't do anything." "Look here. I may look dumb, but it's just a disguise. You're twenty years old-" "Twenty one." "Twenty one. Out here in the boonies with two old meth cooks and eleven dogs. Now, they're not keeping you around for your personality." "That's not nice. I thought you were a nice guy." "Well, live and learn. Now, I bet these guys wouldn't mind taking it out on each other, or the dogs in a pinch, but with you out here? No way. Somebody's getting laid." "Hey! I'm a good girl!" There was the standard stack of VHS porno tapes next to the VCR. ATF had found a video camera set up in another trailer, and we were worried the speedfreaks might have been producing some kiddie porn, since one of them occasionally had his young children out when he had visitation. A couple of the ATF guys had to go through the tapes that were not labeled, watching enough to ensure that they were commercial tapes and not homemade. We asked the girl if she wanted to go into another room while they were screening the tapes. She waved her hand and lit another cigarette. "Nah. I've seen it all." 11:30 PM 8/31/2008 happy labor day! i'm celebrating by working tomorrow (of course). oh, the irony. anyway, i don't have much time, so this update is going to be brief. i ran 6.2 miles yesterday morning. you know, there are a lot of people to whom running comes naturally. sadly, i am not one of them. i keep waiting for the runner's high to kick in and it never does, unless you count the light headedness that comes from oxygen deprivation around mile five. miles seven through thirteen should be interesting. and by interesting, i mean excruciating. let's see, what else...i went to hollywood bowl tonight for the first time this summer. in my opinion, there are few things as moving as 20,000 people singing the star spangled banner together with the orchestra in the dark. i'm amazed each and every time. particularly because everybody's actually in tune, unlike so many sporting events where there's always that one schmuck in the corner screeching out the words in a completely different key. btw, what's everybody's thoughts on palin? i'm so unhappy with my choices right now that i'm starting to think maybe i should run for president. on one side, i've got a hopelessly idealistic senator from illinois with minimal experience and a VP i hardly know anything about. on the other side, i have a fairly liberal conservative with a female VP who is adamantly pro-life. jeez. could i have less options? also, i don't buy all that crap about how the women who were gonna vote for hillary are now gonna switch to palin. are you guys retarded? they're on completely opposite ends of the political spectrum. for pete's sake, the 19th amendent wasn't ratified just so we could all vote for anybody with a vagina. i am still struggling to see why so many people think a half-eskimo husband, moose hunting and a NRA lifetime membership qualifies a woman to be in the executive branch of the united states whereas a law degree, eight years in the white house and 2 terms in the senate don't. i'm not saying palin isn't a decent candidate - it's just that there are so many trivial facts being tossed around about her background that are so incredibly irrelevant to me. i'm tired of hearing stuff like, "sarah palin doesn't have to wear pantsuits just to play with the big boys!" um, how is that in anyway important? when was the last time you discussed mccain's slacks or obama's ties? all right, i'm gonna have to update more later. hope you guys have a nice day off. think of me slaving away while you're sitting at the beach or channel surfing for eight hours straight. sigh. adios. | |||||||
Copyright 2006 Connie Cheng
