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DAILY UPDATES 10:06 AM 12/2/2006well, kids, the moment we've all been anxiously waiting for is finally here. no, not christmas, you idiots. i'm talking about REDEMPTION TIME!!!  on a side note, i cannot believe it's december already. 25 days until christmas; 35 days until i turn 25. i used to think that 25 was pretty much the peak of a woman's attractiveness. now i'm gonna shoot for 35, because if this is as hot as i'm ever gonna get, i might as well hang myself with a celibate rope (that's right, i used a Young MC reference, how do you like THAT?). ok, i will write more after the game. wait, can i update from jail? do i even get jail time for indecent exposure? will you guys come and visit me and bring me pretty flowers? will i have to wear an ugly orange jumpsuit, because orange really isn't my color. are conjugal visits allowed (eww, i'm just asking out of curiosity, so guys, don't go getting any crazy ideas)? i guess we'll see. i'll be back later tonight. GO BRUINS!!!!!!!!!!! ********************* UPDATE ******************************* 4:11 PM 12/2/2006 oh my goodness, am i seeing this correctly? UCLA up by 4 points, with 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter? are we REALLY not getting our asses whupped this time around? it's almost too good to be true! 4:41 PM 12/2/2006 INTERCEPTION BY UCLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one minute left and we're still up by four. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 4:49 PM 12/2/2006 twenty seconds left. c'mon, ucla, don't let me down. please. please. please. pleeeeease. 4:51 PM 12/2/2006 timeout. i can hear ucla's fight song. i think we have the Best Fight Song Ever. it brings tears to my eyes. 4:51 PM 12/2/2006 four seconds. 62 yd punt by perez. i have no idea if that is good or not but all the guys are screaming about it so it must be awesome. USC, KISS GOODBYE TO YOUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. MUAHAHAHA. 4:54 PM 12/2/2006 YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BRUINS!!!!!!!! IT'S THE UPSET OF THE YEAR!!!!!!! aww, poor pete looks like he's gonna cry. YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!! 5:01 PM 12/2/2006 ok, i have calmed down considerably. my cell is blowing up like crazy with people text messaging me left and right - everybody's really, really excited. or really pissed. btw, all you usc fans who expect me to be gracious about ucla's victory can kiss my ass, cuz i've been waiting for this day for way too long. in fact, i'm gonna gloat about this every single day until next year's game. anyways, i will write something much more coherent tomorrow once this high wears off. in the meantime, i guess it's time to strip down and dance. damn, it's kinda cold out too. I LOVE UCLA!!! 7:48 PM 12/3/2006  INTERCEPTION!!!!!!! as a follow up to my post from yesterday, here are various reactions to UCLA's Totally Awesome Victory Over The Most Overrated School In The Country: "RUINED BY BRUINS" - Headline in sports section of Los Angeles Times "USC didn't lie down. USC was beaten down. Shredded were the legends that have become the USC football team, collecting in scraps at the feet of a howling, growling UCLA team that may have never have stood stronger than it did Saturday." - Bill Plaschke "This whole thing is bull. We're a way better team than them, but they came out here and just beat us, and it stinks." - USC's Terrell Thomas "They're just arrogant and that's their style. They thought they were going to run over us on their way to the national championship. I don't think so." - UCLA's Bruce Davis you got that right, Bruce - i don't think so. i honestly couldn't have asked for a better ending to our pathetic losing streak. think about all of the insults, taunts and trash-talking we've had to put up with over the past seven years - well, it's payback time now, [deleted expletive]. to all my fellow bruins: enjoy the sweet, sweet victory, because we've certainly earned it. this is for every single USC fan who laughed at us, flipped us off, and threw beer at our cars while chanting, "FUCK UCLA!!!" at the top of his or her lungs. this is for the hundreds of obnoxious trojans who hopped into the benz/bimmer that their daddy bought them for maintaining a solid 2.0 GPA and drove to westwood after the end of every game, just to rub their victory in our faces, in our own streets. this is for all the losers who didn't even go to USC but jumped on the 'SC bandwagon anyways just because they wanted to support a winning team. and last but not least, this is for every die-hard UCLA fan who, despite knowing the odds, always had faith in their team. TomAtUA: I wish I was a UCLA football player right now, I'm pretty sure I'd be getting action tonight. nicely put, mahler. :) wow. i can't believe i devoted an entire post to this subject. i mean, i don't even understand football. once, when i was still at KPMG, tom, jared and alex spent a good four hours trying to explain the basics to me with the help of twenty million diagrams and confusing sports terms. i think we even ran some plays in the hallway when the partners weren't looking. jared: ok, connie, you're the running back, so go stand over there...no, no, no, what are you doing?! connie: i'm running! you told me i was the running back! jared: dude, not yet. get back here. don't run 'til i tell you to run. connie: man, i want to play a different position, i don't like getting bossed around. jared: fine, you can be the QB. trade places with me. tom's center. wait for the snap. connie: all right, got it. tom: hey, let go of the ball!!! i'll hike it to you! connie: oh, oh, sorry. jeez. don't get all huffy. alex: can we bench her already? connie: hey!!! sometime later this week i'll have to balance today's update out with something about purses and shopping and perhaps maybe even a post titled "Why I Think All Men Should Go To Hell." stay tuned. hope you guys all had a great weekend - i know i did. gloat-fest 2006 has now begun! 11:59 PM 12/7/2006 for those of you who still can't figure out what to buy me for my 25th birthday, here's a little suggestion:  they're on sale right now @ saks fifth avenue for only $415! hurry! anyways, we're up to 17 flights this week. average time per flight: 11.8 seconds. if we can manage to stay at that pace for all 75 flights, we'll finish the thing in about 18 minutes. uh, just thinking about it makes me want to hyperventilate. we may have been a bit too ambitious when we estimated that we could do it in less than 20 minutes. which genius came up with that number!? oh yeah, that was me. dumbass. i really have nothing else worth updating about. work is exhausting - i had a horribly long and crappy day yesterday filled with non-stop conference calls and last-minute emergencies. i think i was late to every single one of my meetings. so i was seriously contemplating suicide (ok not really, but you get the point, right?) when keri and lynn showed up at my front step at midnight with two boxes of strawberry popsicles and iced tea. there are times that i love my girlfriends, and then there are times that i REALLY, REALLY love my girlfriends. last night was definitely the latter. all right, time to get back to work. i feel bad about leaving you guys with a half-assed post, so here is the chopin i recorded almost a year ago on my laptop at the deputy's request. i was hoping to get a cleaner version up but i haven't had any time to sit down and practice, so this is probably as good as it's gonna get. sometimes i wish i had recorded myself when i was 16 and much, much better. chopin's fantasie impromptu, part I chopin's fantasie impromptu, part II. there's beethoven, debussy and liszt recorded and uploaded somewhere on this site too, but i'll spare you guys the agony. and with that note, i'm out. have a great week, everybody. go buy me those gucci shoes if you have some extra time/money. i promise i'll love you forever. or at least until i find myself a hotter pair of shoes. :) 11:57 PM 12/14/2006 first things first: happy birthday to all the december babies out there: rosa, yumi, melody, andreas, wayne, jocelyn, and matt (i think i got everybody...oh yeah, and jesus too). i'm so sorry i've been too MIA to call you guys and sing happy birthday. but don't worry. i'll randomly do it one day in february. in person. at your work. in a chicken suit. or naked (whichever one traumatizes you more). anyways, work has been hell lately. i'm looking forward to vacation in four months. okay, that is sad. i'm going to stop now before i get 20 emails in my inbox telling me to find another job. i'm too tired to update more, so i'll leave you guys with a picture of me and my coworkers from tonight's holiday dinner at zucca's. it was so much fun. and by so much fun, i mean no fun at all.  me, yang and yumi. this was at the beginning, before the "no fun" part kicked in. 12:49 AM 12/18/2006 picture time! here's some more stuff from phoenix (keri's cameras) and this weekend:  keri's shot of the phoenix sun  playing lawn checkers at the biltmore. i look confused.  no comment.  starting our hike...  all gung-ho in the beginning...  at the top!  one of the five million pools @ the biltmore  me, vanessa and vanessa's friend at ey's holiday party  keri, lynn and me at keri's church play this morning. 12:12 AM 12/28/2006 merry belated christmas! sorry for the delay in updating. i've been a little preoccupied with trying to work, see people, and fix my stupid laptop for the billionth time. i hope everybody had a great weekend...mine was pretty fun and laid back. went horseback riding with the girls in topanga canyon saturday, which was an awesome experience. the view was amazing. what was even more amazing was the fact that none of us (*cough* erin *cough*) fell off our horses and died. maybe next time we'll be more adventurous and take the full moon ride. afterwards we spent a couple hours setting up lynn's new 62" TV - that's right, the vortex of unproductivity has just tripled in size. nobody within a 50 mile radius can escape it now. by the way, i just realized that the ucla web space which has housed the previous version of this page for the past seven years has finally died. i better hope i backed up those archives on some hard drive somewhere, otherwise there goes my college/kpmg years. actually, now that i think about it, that may be a good thing, because that means nothing in my past can come back to haunt me one day in the near future when i decide to run for president of the united states. so i went down to huntington beach tonight with the deputy, and somebody got shot (on accident, i think) in the parking lot of the range while we were inside. the deputy went outside to check things out while i stared at my gun and thought about my mom flipping out. five billion other cops showed up and blocked off the parking lot, so we finished up our shooting and then sat around for a few minutes waiting for everything to get wrapped up. the police eventually let me back my car out of the lot, but not after telling me to "watch out for the blood, it's everywhere, you don't want to step in it.....ha-ha, just kidding." i was actually retarded enough to believe it for a good five seconds. while eating dinner later on, we briefly discussed making up a cool story about how i saved somebody's life by killing a bad guy from half a mile away. unfortunately, i'm too tired to come up with anything remotely believable now. i have to admit, i'm still a bit disturbed by how nonplussed everybody was at the scene. me: so what'd you do, just run outside and stand around? deputy: everything was under control by the time i got there, so i just pulled out my flashlight and asked the dude's brother if he needed help. he was already on the phone with 911. me: did you tell the people there you were a cop? deputy: no, why would i? me: i don't know, that's the first thing i would say to people, i guess. was the guy bleeding? deputy: nah, didn't see much. people usually don't bleed that much if they get shot in the gut. me: are you sure? was it bad? deputy: haven't you ever seen someone who's been shot before? me: no, of course not! why would i!? deputy: i dunno. me: how old was he? deputy: 23. me: 23!? he's a baby! was he crying!? deputy: no, he'll be fine. he was in shock, but he was okay. me: are you sure? deputy: yeah. me: where'd the bullet go? deputy: no exit wound, it's probably still somewhere inside of him. me: wait, how do you know there was no exit wound? deputy: what do you mean? we rolled him over and looked. me: you rolled him over?! like some sorta hot dog!? that's so wrong! the deputy and his friends at the range were laughing and joking about it afterwards, but all i could think about is how seriously annoyed i would be if i happened to standing at the wrong place at the wrong time and somebody accidentally shot ME. that would really, really suck. anyways. enough about that. guns don't kill people. stupid people kill people. and that's about as right wing as i'm ever gonna get, so i'll stop now. i'll try and get some x-mas pictures uploaded sometime soon, maybe this weekend. but now i gotta sleep. later, y'all. | |||||||
Copyright 2006 Connie Cheng
