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DECEMBER 08 ARCHIVES 12:18 AM 12/2/2008wow, it's december already. 25 days til christmas. 36 days until my 27th birthday. depressing. i'm supposed to be in hawaii right now on a short vacation with lynn and keri. i canceled my flight last night because of my mom (goodbye $150), which of course in this situation was the only thing to do. didn't make it any easier to swallow, though. so lynn and keri flew out this morning and sent back this picture when they touched down in oahu:  i made it to hawaii after all...i wonder how many people lynn & keri scared with my foam board head? ok, i gotta get some sleep. tomorrow is my overnight shift at the hospital again and it's going to be another challenging experience. i am also going to a funeral of a coworker's mother in the morning, which should really be helping me put things into perspective (but it's not. it's just downright depressing and i anticipate crying nonstop for an entire hour or more). somebody remind me again why life is worth living? 10:01 PM 12/7/2008 you know, there are few things in life that are unequivocally wrong or right. i mean, nearly every contemporary issue i can think of has its gray areas. unless you are talking about usc beating ucla in football yet again, WHICH IS JUST PLAIN WRONG. is there no justice in this world? have i not done enough to appease the football gods? do i need to break into the locker room with my gun and threaten bodily harm to the entire football team as an extra little incentive to play better!? another defeat means another year of putting up with smug trojans at work, and i cannot tolerate it anymore. come on, bruins. GET IT TOGETHER. STOP EMBARRASSING ME. I WILL SERIOUSLY DISOWN YOU. OK NO I WON'T BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THREATENING TO DO THAT FOR YEARS AND I STILL ALWAYS COME CRAWLING BACK TO YOU. BUT REALLY. CUT OUT THIS LOSING CRAP. I'M TIRED OF IT. THANK YOU. anyway, seeing how christmas is less than a month away, i've decided to put together a list of the five most annoying christmas songs in the world. let me know if you agree or disagree: 1. santa baby. this is a golddigger's song. buy your own damn convertible, lady. also, sexual innuendos don't belong in christmas songs. you're not r. kelly, for heaven's sake. 2. i want a hippopotamus for christmas. i hope whoever sings this gets her hippo one day and subsequently gets eaten and/or trampled over by the hippo. that'll teach her. 3. i saw mommy kissing santa claus. when i was younger i didn't realize santa claus was really daddy dressed up, so i was really disturbed by the thought of santa claus being a homewrecker. way to lead kids astray. 4. the christmas shoes. this song seriously makes me want to kill myself. christmas songs are NOT supposed to do that. 5. christmas time is here. this song also makes me want to kill myself. charlie brown in general depresses me and i don't find the movie cute AT ALL. and the last bonus song that i hate (i know this isn't christmas but i detest this song so much i feel like i have to mention it): kid rock's all summer long. that's a tribute to white trash if i've ever heard one. "we were trying different things.... we were smoking funny things." oh, that's really clever, rhyming "things" with "things." my sister actually likes the song ("hey, it's catchy!!") and i think that is a good enough reason to disown her from this family. okay that's it, i gotta run now. thanks to everybody who sent along their nice thoughts about my mom. she's doing much better, so it might be a good christmas after all. update more later. xoxo. 12:01 AM 12/16/2008 nine days 'til christmas. crud, i haven't done any shopping yet. how about i just throw piles of cash at people? and by piles of cash i mean whatever spare change i can dig up from the ashtray of my car. except for the quarters, i need those for parking in the westside on weekends. anyways, EY's somewhat-annual bakeoff was today. some of you may recall that i was EY BAKE OFF CHAMPION OF 2005. and if you can't remember, then click here for the awe-inspiring pictures of the world's most insanely elaborate entry into a dumb work-related bake-off EVER. this year's entry was much less fancy, mostly because i didn't think there would be any way to live up from all the hype from the gingerbread EY building. that and i was just plain lazy. btw, i really am not a fan of baking. it's too messy and so many things can go wrong. that, and i kinda suck at it. taste-testing, on the other hand, is right up my alley. anyways, my attempt at baking was quite pathetic, beginning with a super long sifting session that only ended when lynn pointed out that my sifter was broken. the cupcakes were edible though, so that's all that matters. i took about 30 of them to work this morning, which was an interesting experience. i had my laptop bag and purse over my left shoulder, a big brown paper bag on the crook of my left arm, 12 cupcakes in a cupcake holder in my right hand, and an umbrella in my left hand. as i was walking from the parking lot to the EY building, i somehow went skidding on the wet concrete and literally flew head first into a large bush. my right stiletto flew off and landed about five feet away from me into a giant puddle of rainwater. once i extracted myself from the bush and limped over to retrieve my shoe, i realized that all of my carefully decorated cupcakes had overturned and smushed themselves in the corner of the carrier. and nobody stopped to help me at all!! that was the worst part. also, i have come to the realization that whenever i eat it or come close to eating it in public, i'm always wearing a dress. it's like newton's fourth law or something. in any case, i am getting really tired of it. i blame the shoes. anyway, getting back to my cupcakes - i managed to salvage most of them while sitting on a conference call for half an hour. crisis averted.  cute, no? and yes lynn, i realized i forgot to turn all the cupcakes right side up in this picture, haha.  i won for most festive. see that look on my face? it says, "man, i stayed up until 2am and nearly ate it in the rain...FOR THIS!??" 11:30 PM 12/23/2008 merry christmas, everybody. it's been one hell of a holiday season. i don't feel particularly festive - apparently i used up all of my christmas spirit baking winning cupcakes last weekend. good thing i have a cheesy trophy to show for it. i know there is plenty to be happy about right now but i'm really, really having a hard time coming up with a moderately cheerful post. and i just realized that i am totally late in posting my annual xmas wish list. oops. here goes: 1. my mom's health. 'nuff said. 2. a personal assistant to read my emails, answer my calls, check messages and clean my desk. and my car. and my room. 3. a taser, so i can zap annoying people around me. half of LA will be incapacitated in two seconds. 4. a winning lotto ticket. i could use the money. 5. ugh, i don't know. motivation to continue writing this crappy update. 1:54 AM 12/29/2008 look, i'm on the internet! probably wasn't the brightest idea to put both my location AND my full name out there, but i guess it's a little too late now. it took my sister four tries with my crappy blackberry camera to get that lousy shot. we really need to get a life. anyways, i hope you guys had a nice christmas. mine was uneventful, except for the usual family drama, which i won't get into here. lynn and i, the lucky bastards that we are, got to go bridesmaid dress shopping with erin and her sister on friday. for those of you who have never had the privilege of experiencing that yet, try to imagine going bathing suit shopping when you're feeling all dumpy and bloated two days before your period. then multiply that feeling by the total number of bridesmaids in the wedding and raise it to the nth power for each bridesmaid's unique body type and personal style. i swear, if i ever get married, i'm gonna pick floral print muu muus so that everybody will be equally hideous and equally miserable. it's mean but diplomatic. it will also guarantee that i look freaking awesome in comparison. because that's really what this whole madness is about anyways. haha. in other news, i attempted to bake cookies this weekend using a coworker's supposedly famous recipe and it totally tanked. since i already hate to bake in the first place, it just sucked even more that the stuff i ended up with was practically inedible. i blame the recipe, not the technique. my sister attempted to help but somehow made them even grosser - hers were misshapen, burnt and topped with cocoa powder and a single M&M. at least mine were round and covered with pretty pink icing and sprinkles. but the worst part is how my sister packaged up some of the cookies and dropped them off at my aunts and cousins' houses when i was upstairs taking a nap, less than 20 minutes after i expressly told her that nobody in this world should be subjected to such bad food (with the exception of an ex-boyfriend). now i am thoroughly embarassed. lynn and keri are insisting that i bake a new batch of decent cookies to redistribute to the relatives in hopes that the good stuff will redeem the bad cookies that i wasn't even really responsible for. sigh. this is why i should avoid baking, period. ok, it's almost two and i need to sleep. if i don't update more soon, please have a safe and happy new year's. and as always, don't point your gun up in the air when you shoot, because you might end up hitting some unlucky schmuck standing five feet away from you. point it at yourself instead. xoxo. | |||||||
Copyright 2006 Connie Cheng
