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FEBRUARY '09 4:33 PM 2/1/2009today's post is entitled "I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I NEARLY DIED FROM RUNNING A 10K AND DIDN'T EVEN GET A STINKING MEDAL FOR MY CONSIDERBLE EFFORTS. WTF?" well, i guess the title pretty much says it all so i don't really have to elaborate much. i only found out a few days ago that people aren't awarded medals for finishing 10K's (unless you end up placing in the top three, which everybody knows is about as likely as me spontaneously morphing into a t-rex). so basically all i got for my $30 entrance fee was the experience of huffing and puffing for over an hour up and down the hills of redondo beach. who knew redondo beach had hills!?!?! not me. oh yeah, i also got a t-shirt too, which i am planning on wearing every single day for the rest of the year as a reminder to the whole world that I FINISHED A 10K, DANG IT. lame, i tell you. as a friendly tip, if you ever find yourself considering a 10K when you haven't run anything over 1.5 miles straight in the past three-plus months, DON'T DO IT. it's a bad idea, particularly when you have a huge sore throat and are coming down with a cough. that's right, i ran even though i was sick. see, even more reason i deserve a huge platinum and diamond-encrusted trophy for managing to finish this stupid thing without keeling over. but noooooooo, all i ended up with was really sore calves, god-awful tan lines on my back and a wheezing cough. YAY. all kidding aside, i owe yet another note of thanks to lynn for managing to put up with my whininess throughout the entire run. then again, that's what she gets for convincing me to run even though i reminded her repeatedly that i was not cut out for this kind of crap. haha. we also saw some great getups along the way: a group with a bride, girls in disco outfits and a guy pushing a huge boombox playing ABBA hits (which would have been totally awesome if only i didn't detest abba with a passion), some dude in a badass transformer costume, and a bunch of random guys in pink neon t-shirts who guzzled beer throughout the run, belted out oingo boingo lyrics at the top of their lungs (in key and in unison!) and totally smoked us before we even hit mile 2. i was envious, because they were obviously having fun, as opposed to poor me, who was constantly two seconds away from collapsing. argh. chinese new year resolution: beef up cardiovascular endurance. a lot. anyway, in other news, i was in sacramento for a few days last week and it was FUN FUN FUN as usual. the trip started off badly when i ran into major issues with my rental car. actually it wasn't a car, it was a toyota sienna. did i ever mention how much i love driving mini vans? it's good practice for my soccer mom future (i can't wait). and if you're so oblivious that you didn't recognize the sarcasm dripping from my last two sentences, you need to be whacked in the head with a nerf bat. now i've got a full week of work ahead of me and possibly jury duty. ahahaha i love it, i can't wait to perform my civic duty. mostly because i live for judging people. adios, kids. 9:31 PM 2/8/2009 day #7 of a gross cold from hell. it's all the stupid 10K's fault. i'm never running again. i was explicitly instructed by one of the partners i work with to take friday off from work and it didn't really do much - i'm still super congested and blowing my nose every two minutes. it really, really sucks. anyways, since i have nothing to write, here is a picture from last weekend. it's not a particularly flattering picture of any of us (seriously, what is wrong with my hat?) but hey, at least it's proof that we ran. and i think this is the only shot on the internet where i'm wearing shorts. ick.  1. why won't the jonas brothers go away already? OVERRATED! 2. eww, MIA. the only thing worse than your god-awful song is your god-awful outfit. my eyes are bleeding. 3. depsite the giant banana onstage and the 5,000,000 sequins on her ridiculous costume, katy perry is TERRIBLE live. 4. kanye west's mohawk has got to go. 5. john mayer is dirty. i mean, the perviness just radiates from him. 6. for once, i agree with my dad: "wtf are these rappers singing about?! this isn't music!" 7. aww, kenny chesney. you're so good. i like you. 8. gwyneth paltrow might look pretty, but she talks like a freaking doofus. 9. oh god, the USC marching band got to accompany radiohead? barf. 10. wow, i'm the world's biggest hater. it's this dang cold, i tell you. ok that's it. i have to go get ready for jury duty tomorrow now. A-DI-OS! 9:37 PM 2/15/2009 happy singles awareness day (one day late)! for once this year i did not consume half my body weight in chocolate. i'm sure i'll make up for it by easter. anyway, it was a relatively uneventful week. i had jury duty on monday but didn't end up getting picked. talk about disappointing - i was kinda looking forward to getting away from work for a few days. haha. i mean, a typical juror has the most awesome schedule ever - you show up around 8:00, take off for a 1.5 hour lunch break, and then you're out by 4:00. unless, of course, you happen to be an EY employee, in which case you're obligated to scurry home and work until midnight to make up for all of the work you missed. hmm, maybe jury duty ain't so great after all. on a side note, there are a lot of REALLY weird people in that juror selection room. i mean, if i ever do something stupid that lands me in court, i'm entitled to a trial by peers, right? and you're telling me that these are the peers who are gonna be judging me? that's frightening. i had to change seats at least four or five times to avoid the more ...unique personalities in the room. one guy kept alternating between laughing and cursing out loud to himself while peering over my shoulder to stare at my laptop. another asian lady had bright blue hair and wouldn't stop swiveling her head around to stare at the other jurors in the room. she was like a freaky old blue-haired owl. let's see, what else...went with my coworker to a shooting range on 6th and alameda this friday night. thanks to his lousy sense of direction and poor lighting from the nonexistent streetlights, we ended up driving through skid row a good three or four times. i was not a happy camper: "ryan, i swear to god, if you get us killed tonight while my unloaded gun is sitting in the trunk next to a full box of ammo, i'm gonna resurrect you from the dead and then kill you again with my bare hands." we eventually made it there and got out alive after going through 150 rounds. it's been a while since i've shot but it went better than expected. also, the last three or four times i've gone in heels and now i'm wondering if i'm going to get used to that and shoot better when i'm not in tennis shoes. uh, let's hope i happen to be dressed up if i ever get attacked one day and have to use my gun in self-defense. all right, i guess that's all the exciting news i have for now. i think it's gonna be an especially rough week at work starting tomorrow. cue mini-godzilla. yesterday i was sitting at my desk when my coworker, a former JAG in the marines, stopped by to chit chat. we were talking about stupid stuff when he informed me that a US marine is the most dangerous weapon in the world. i laughed and told him no way - connie on PMS is twenty thousand times worse than some wimpy marine. come on, like a bajillion hours of top-notch combat training is any match for progesterone-fueled hormonal swings coupled with serious lack of sleep during busy season. yawn. later, kids. 10:12 PM 2/25/2009 man, what a month. i am only going to spend 13 minutes on this update because i refuse to use up precious sleeping or working time doing stupid things. haha. today's post is dedicated to all you shoe lovers out there. pretty shoes are one of few things in this world that can cheer me up when i'm totally stressed out. the challenge is how to find a decent pair while wading through a sea of absolute crap. these eyesores below make me want to punch their designers for unleashing such terrible fashion upon the masses.  marc jacobs flats that cost $600 (!!!!). i would have killed to have something like this in 4th grade.  these are supposed to tone your legs as you walk. because shapely legs are important when you're wearing a pair of sandals that look like a snake shedded on them.  look closely, those are skulls. FYI, you can't be that big of a badass when you just spent a bajillion dollars on ugly boots.  question: WHAT in your closet could possibly match these shoes?!  wow. flat boots + tie dye = monstrosity.  look, if your legs are that cold, then put on a pair of socks and wear close-toed shoes. jeez.  these were only cool when a super-buff russell crow wore them in gladiator.  i'm strangely fascinated (but in a bad way) by these. they're like a cross between a spaceship and a beluga whale.  okay, so you'll spend 5 minutes shaving your legs in the shower only to put on a pair of shoes that make you feel like you have hairy ankles?  these are just plain ridiculous. i mean, really. why would you ever want your shoes to blend into the surrounding foilage?  by the time you manage to strap yourself into these suckers, the trendiness of this look will be long gone. heidi klum wore them about a month ago and even then she looked pretty stupid. | |||||||
Copyright 2006 Connie Cheng
