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JULY '09 ARCHIVES 11:38 PM 7/4/2009so i was walking home from lynn's house a few nights ago when i saw this:  anyway, i saw public enemies a few nights ago, and i think we should all start a petiton to re-introduce the three piece suit back into the wardrobe of modern day man. who's with me?! the vest kills me. and i'm not talking about the dorky banana republic vests worn by preppies or academic decathalon nerds. i'm talking about THESE kinds of vests:  ok, enough with nonsense. today is our nation's independence day, and i would like to dedicate this inspirational quote to lynn: "Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: 'We will not go quietly into the night!' We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" i am sure jack is rolling his eyes at the cheesiness of the quote but lynn is probably tearing up because she thinks that bill pullman's speech in that scene is one of the greatest ever written in the history of motion pictures. am i right? yes. anyway, it was a pretty low key fourth of july this year. i never want to eat another hot dog again. at least for the next three weeks. haha. i also had a ton of apple pie and ice cream tonight (because it doesn't get more american than that) and now i want to keel over and die. keri's wedding is in three weeks. AUGHHHHHHH RUNNING OUT OF TIME. time to go find the duct tape again in order to get the bridesmaid dress to fit. lastly, i am off to washington DC monday morning. it's going to be an exciting trip. which reminds me, i really have to quit screwing around and start packing. happy fourth of july to all my faithful readers (all two of you), and a special thanks to those in the armed forces who are serving or have served our country honorably. and did anybody else out there note the hilarious coincidence re: the gay soldier named dan choi? hahaha. aw daniel. i miss you. 7:49 PM 7/10/2009 i'm goin', goin', back to back, to cali, cali... that song is over a decade old and it's STILL good. how many of us are still gonna like lil wayne's songs ten years from now? i don't even like that crap now. maybe i'm just getting old. :( don't you dare nod your head in agreement. anyways, i'm right smack in the middle of a flight from dulles to lax, and it sucks. when i flew out here, i upgraded to first class (not because i'm a baller, but because it was a five-hour flight that left at 6am and i needed to be able to sleep and work). unfortunately, first class was totally booked on my return flight so now i am stuck in coach next to a noisy vietnamese couple who stole my window seat and gave me the aisle instead. i was too tired to make them change seats so i decided just to go with it and now my right shoulder keeps getting bumped as people with huge butts and hips walk by to go to the bathroom. plus there was nowhere else to put my nice louis vuitton bag other than on the floor right next to a pile of crushed peanuts. i'm trying to surreptitiously kick the peanuts over to the vietnamese couple's side but i think i'm just making a bigger mess. long story short: the extra $400 i shelled out on monday to sit in first class WAS WORTH EVERY DAMN PENNY. now that i'm done ranting about having to sit with the common folk in coach, i can actually talk about my trip. i really liked DC, for the most part. aside from having to work a billion hours, i managed to squeeze in some touristy things, like a trip to the smithsonian natural history museum and the white house. i was trying to convince jack that i could jump the white house fence and get at least 30 feet down the lawn before getting shot by secret service but wisely decided not to test that theory. the food was excellent and the weather was surprisingly good. did you know that DC has the 2nd worst traffic in the country? LA is #1. haha. YAY, LA! on the bright side, once you've braved the 405 and the 10E on a friday night, going anywhere else in the country (yes, even DC) is an improvement. we left the hotel all early today because everybody kept warning me how bad traffic is on a friday afternoon in metropolitan DC. yeah, we got there in less than 30 minutes. that was like the time one of my clients warned me about allowing ample time for kansas city traffic - apparently their defintion of bad traffic is anything under 45 mph. my definition is anything under the speed with which i can run a half marathon. that's all i really have to say about DC for now. man, i was trying to kill time on the plane by writing this update but i still have three hours to go and there is literally nothing else to ramble about. i guess i will scour the sky mall catalog and see what kind of cool stuff aka junk i can buy. i'll probably also go through my ipod and see how many 2pac songs i know word for word by heart. grab your gloooocks when you seeeee 2pac! call the cops when you seeeee 2 pac! three loooooong hours. adios kids. 12:24 AM 7/17/2009 i am broke. no wait, let me clarify. i am RIDICULOUSLY broke. PEOPLE NEED TO QUIT GETTING ENGAGED AND GETTING MARRIED AND POPPING OUT KIDS ALREADY. i mean it. as you can tell, i am feeling a little cranky today. perhaps it's because i just finished reconciling all my finances and discovered that i've been spending much more on other people than i have on my purses lately. yes, i'm a selfish bastard. no, i don't feel bad about it at all. people need to be giving me presents, not the other way around. i mean hello, who's the childless bitter spinster here!?! who is more deserving of pity!? that's right, ME. you can send the designer bags and shoes to my attention at the address below: 725 S. Figueroa Street Suite 500 Los Angeles, CA 90017 thanks in advance. ANYWAYS, now that my pathetic ranting is over (seriously, send me presents and i will shut up), here are some pictures from last weekend's trip to disneyland. we almost died from the heat. my wallet died from the overspending (feel free to send me cash too). next weekend is keri's wedding (i like new comforters as well). my attitude has gone from "OMG, we have to work out!!" to "man, the wedding's coming up so fast!!" to "damn, let's just get this sh*t over with already." i hope to be more pleasant by the end of this month (a prada bag might help).       k, i'm out. have a fabulous weekend, everybody. and buy me a present, will you? 7:35 PM 7/26/2009 notable achievements/highlights from this past weekend: 1. me and lynn's impromptu speed-shopping trip to the century city mall on friday afternoon, where we managed to score five pairs of matching earrings for the bridemaids at BR, cheap swimsuits at bloomingdales AND sugar lip balm at sephora, all in one hour. 2. all of us getting to the church on time even though the makeup artist and her assistant were nearly 45 minutes late. dude, ask the girls how many times i had to spell out "avenue of the stars" for the fobby lady over the phone while switching back and forth between taiwanese, chinese and english. i was not a happy camper. 3. surviving our ten-mile hike all around rodeo drive to take pictures with the wedding photographer. my four and a quarter inch dior stilettos were clearly NOT made for walking. 4. waving to all the nice people in cars who honked, clapped, cheered and yelled for us as we were crossing little santa monica en route to our ten mile hike. 5. lynn realizing that she had put her spanx on totally backwards only after we were done taking pictures. *cough* dumbass *cough*. 6. managing to keep our fake eyelashes and eyeliner intact despite crying pretty much non-stop during the ceremony. and no, we weren't bawling because we were emotional, it was because OUR FEET WERE ABOUT TO EXPLODE FROM THE PAIN. 7. marching into the reception hall in front of nearly 400 people with the rest of the wedding party to the ucla fight song and doing the 8-clap. 8. going to the jack in the bax right by my old apartment afterwards to pick up really greasy food. man, i forgot how good bacon cheddar potato wedges were. they are to die for. and i mean that literally, since they are about a billion calories apiece. 9. somehow not dying from embarrassment during keri's slideshow when she showed pictures from our awkward years (i.e. ages 7 through 17) and thoughtfully photoshopped my name with an arrow pointing to my head onto every picture to ensure that the entire room would know who the dork with the permed bangs and coke bottle glasses was. 10. the kiss that took six years to happen. 'bout time. jeez. now onto the pictures:  wedding rehearsal dinner @ C&O in marina del rey.  keri getting ready in the morning. notice how smooth her arms are. i wonder who her awesome waxer was? oh that's right, me.  clearly somebody was not listening to the photographer when she was going over how to hold the flowers.  i LOVE the mystery hands flashing the fobby peace signs in this picture.  us trying to be cute but looking really stupid instead.  aww, we finally look presentable here.  here's keri staring at her own cleavage!  us walking out of the church right after the ceremony. everybody's so happy here!  alison, erin, me, girl who put spanx on backwards, allison h. and tracy! | |||||||
Copyright 2006 Connie Cheng
