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JUNE 07 ARCHIVES 2:25 PM 6/3/2007a few pictures from E&Y's annual company party at disneyland this weekend:  me and lynn at the entrance of disneyland.  we literally spent half the day eating.  my sister and lynn, getting friendly with donald duck.  it's a small world! best cheesy ride ever.  our splash mountain picture - my sister is the only dork who couldn't get her hands in the air during the final drop.  the aftermath. most of us only got wet on the right side, but lynn looked like she peed her pants.  me and my sister on the buzz lightyear ride. clearly, i was space ranger 2. anyways, it's time to get back into work mode since busy season is right around the corner. YAY. have a fabulous week, everybody. 10:50 PM 6/10/2007 results from yet another dumb, brainless quiz...
i wasn’t particularly pleased with the first outcome, so i hit refresh and came up with this:
much better. that’s probably what my real tombstone will say when i eventually kick the bucket. anyways, i hope everybody had a fabulous weekend. mine was all right – caught ocean’s 13, knocked out lynn in boxing (on the wii, not in real life), got lost on the way to AND from newport beach ("what the hell, i'm on a toll road now?") and went to the range to shoot a couple hundred rounds after i had a horrible nightmare thursday night about getting shot at by a lady with a gun and subsequently pistol whipping her to death with my own gun. not to state the obvious, but pistol whipping somebody to death requires a heck of a lot more effort than just dumping a couple rounds into him/her. my gun is always unloaded when I store it (both in my dreams and in real life) so i guess this is my subconscious telling me i'm an idiot for not keeping my weapon loaded and at my side. i first tried to knock out the lady in my dream by throwing an empty magazine at her before the pistol whipping started, but my aim was horrible and the magazine ended up clearing her head by a good two feet. so i really had no choice but to beat her head in with my poor gun. it was highly unpleasant, and i felt sick the entire time. the last time i had a dream this violent, all that was within reach was a large potted plant, which, as you can guess, i chucked at my attacker's head (and unlike the mag, the potted plant actually made contact). uh, in slightly less disturbing news, i went to neiman marcus today and was accosted by the makeup counter ladies at 29. they made me look like a cross between a clown and a hooker. it reminded me of the time i went to mac right before kpmg’s christmas party and came out looking like a geisha. man, that was so not hot. anyways, i eventually freed myself from the grasps of the evil makeup ladies to hit up the shoe sale, where i found myself seriously considering a pair of 4” dark red patent leather stilettos from gucci. i blame the whorish-clown makeup for momentarily clouding my good judgment. fortunately i managed to wipe off all the mascara and eyeliner just in time to avoid dropping $500 on a pair of hooker heels. crisis averted. i celebrated by coming home and spending over a grand on a white lanvin bag from barney’s new york (hey, it was 40% off). unlike the heels, the bag is actually quite classy. but i guess it would have to be, for the amount of money i'm paying.  p.s. i miss my hammer. 10:02 PM 6/18/2007 last week at the office i thought it would be a good idea to attempt ten flights of stairs in a dress and heels. i wanted to feel the extra burn because we took a recruit out for lunch and yumi practically forced me to eat a chocolate cannoli for dessert. all right fine, she didn't force me at all, but she did suggest taking a look at the dessert menu, and who was i to say no? anyhow, going up ten flights was fine (relatively) but coming down was an absolute nightmare - i came pretty close to falling face first down the stairs. we stumbled up another 13 today, which makes me wonder how we managed to work up to 18 flights before busy season came and kicked all our butts. i bet if i trained for all seventy-six flights in my heels, i could do the real race in tennis shoes in 12 minutes flat. OR i could die. in any case, i really can't feel my legs now, which probably isn't a good thing. after all, what on earth am i gonna do with all my shoes after the doctors amputate?? in other news, i had the weekend from hell. since i don't really feel like getting into the ugly details, i'm just going to post random pictures. hey, want to see what a true american hero looks like?  this is odani in kuwait, demonstrating how a real Marine properly uh, bends over. his email said something about testing out a gas chamber, but i think my description is much more amusing. ok, before i get back to work, i'll leave you with some eye candy. and no, i wasn't talking about the picture above. the YSL bags below are fabulous. there is also an insanely gorgeous version in black crocodile (!!!!!), but i'd probably have to work fourteen jobs for the next three years to be able to afford that. it'd be worth it, though. and yes, i am somewhat comforted by the fact i'll be able to use my bags as pillows for my cardboard home on skid row when i am broke and homeless someday.    i love my dad.  CUTE! 10:20 PM 6/24/2007 per tradition, here are three new careers i'm considering this busy season: 1. nordstrom piano player (pros: daily access to good sales. cons: having to practice piano every day). 2. miss taiwan of southern california (pros: no thinking skills or talent required. cons: must develop anorexia). 3. pillow tester (pros: testing pillows. cons: none. by the way, i'm not kidding about #2 - last week i was in rosemead and i saw signs everywhere for the miss taiwan southern california pageant. my sister jokingly suggested i enter, so i took a closer look at the posters and decided i might have a decent chance at winning. not because i am hot and talented, but because all of the previous miss taiwan contestants have looked like complete dorks (and that's putting it nicely). i suspect it might have something to do with the fact that all the good looking and smart taiwanese girls out there have better things to do than enter stupid ghetto pageants. um, not like i'm hating on pageant contestants or anything...oh wait, yes i am. ladies, if you feel like your character and self-worth can be accurately judged by how well you strut down the runway in a pair of heels and a cheesy evening gown, you probably don't have much character and self-worth to begin with. i'm not a bra-burning feminist (mainly because my bras are too expensive to burn), but i just don't see why physical attractiveness should play such a blatantly large part in determining a woman's value. let's just call pageants what they are: modeling contests, with bonus points if you can manage to articulate a coherent thought. it's not as if the judges actually care about how a girl plans on serving her community and her country; after all, since when did someone's ability to make a positive change in the world depend on her having a 34C cup size vs a 34A? anyways, i'm done ranting. i'm all about being a girl and having fun, but i gotta draw the line somewhere. speaking of being a girl, meet the highlights of my weekend:  prada heels from barneys new york  stuart weitzman stilettos from nordstrom's one pair i can wear to work at EY, and the other i can wear to uh, my 2nd job as a high-end escort. oh yeah, forgot to mention i bought a wii for my dad on father's day. it cost me $330 on ebay - and that's without the three additional remotes and one nunchuk we bought separately. it's worth every penny, though - you should see my parents battling it out in doubles tennis. it's hysterical. i knocked out lynn TWICE in boxing at one am saturday morning. five minutes into playing, we were stripping off layers of clothing and opening every window in sight. i won't say it's a decent workout, but you can really work up a sweat. except for bowling, 'cause you can do that sitting down (we tried). all right, i gotta get back to work. i picked up some new clients last week - one is an avocado company (don't ask), and the other is a satellite/communications manufacturer that contracts with the DoD to make all this fancy, top-secret stuff i can't understand. why other girls have clients like BCBG and armani and i get stuck with the nerdy, male-dominated engineering companies, i don't know. the steep learning curve is really starting to wear me down, though - it's like being in school all over again (and let's face it, after a couple multi-variable calculus and chem 20b classes, i was pretty much done with the hard sciences). then again, i'll hopefully be working on some stuff for venetian in vegas soon, so i should be able to brush up on the fine art of doubling down and splitting eights and aces sometime during the summer. in the meantime, i gotta go read up on avocado ripening processes and secure satellite communications systems. and you all thought being a CPA wasn't glamorous. ha. well, you're right. have a fabulous week, everybody. :) | ||||||||
Copyright 2006 Connie Cheng
