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	JUNE '09 ARCHIVES 3:08 PM 6/7/2009 less than two weeks until wedding #1 and all of our bridesmaids dresses are still MIA, lost somewhere in UPS land between the dress factory and the distribution center. while erin is probably less than thrilled with this latest development, i'm thinking this is actually a blessing in disguse because that damn thing wouldn't have zipped up anyways. i was hoping that the endless pushups would have done some good, but nooooo. so i've decided to walk down the aisle in a belted trash bag instead. at least the shoes will look good, all the way up until the second i snap off a heel and go flying head-first down the stairs. honestly though, we ordered those dresses back in january, so i have no idea what the hell is going on. it cannot take six freaking months to make a dress - it's not a birkin, for heaven's sake. in other news, i saw james, jordan and jeff last week and we got to talking about our high school year reunion. while i'm really not that enthusiastic about going, i do feel the need to collect on my 10 year bet with matt. however, since we're all a giant bunch of lemmings, james won't go unless me, kyle and jordan go, and jordan won't go unless jeff and all of us go, and i won't go unless my girlfriends go, kyle flat out won't go, PERIOD, and hans won't go unless he manages to get his hands on a ferrari first. i guess that means we're all not going. jeff suggested having a mini reunion for just the people we actually care to see - i think his exact words were, "how 'bout meeting up with people who actually managed to do something with their lives? like people from our AP classes. except for english AP, that class was a joke." haha. i think it's a great idea, but the only challenge with that is finding somebody to plan it. i suspect most people who DIDN'T peak in high school have better things to do than organize mini-reunions. uh, let's see, what else....work has been a blur. we're now gearing up for our 9/15 busy season...my god, i'm tired. "busy season" should be stricken from every public accountant's vocabulary, since there really is no season anymore. i propose to rename it "NON-STOP HELL." also, on a totally unrelated note, that stupid song by LMFAO has been running through my head ALL week. drink all day play all night let's get it poppin' i'm in LA, triiiick! yes, i know the original version is "i'm in miami, biiiitch" but i like the cleaned up LA version better. a coworker called me on my cell on thurs to see where i was and i actually answered with, "i'm in LA, triiiiick!" yeah...it would have been somewhat funny had she been familiar with the song in the first place. i'm sure it'll be interesting to explain to HR why i called a female coworker a trick. "um, i meant it in a funny way. triiiiiick! see? ha ha ha." last but certainly not least, here's a picture of the LV bag jack surprised me with a few weeks ago. sorry about the cruddy quality of the shot. so beautiful! and to think i was all proud of myself for buying him a manual coin sorter that cost me a whoppin' $35 last month. i am a terrible person. i know what's going through your mind right now: "wow, these would match really well with connie's trash bag dress." i completely agree. ok, time to work. have a great week everybody. i'm in LA, triiiiiiick! 12:16 AM 6/16/2009 one for the money, two for the show hit the louis store right on rodeo white SL, the color of yayo pass the cup to my girl and told her to sip slow this my show, watch me baby, the way i go, can't stop me baby seatbelt beside me baby, LA just drive me crazy! we run LA! i finally got "i'm in LA triiiick!" outta my head and now i'm stuck with this song. argh. sooo....i'd like to take this moment to announce that erin's bridesmaids dresses came in a few days ago AND MINE ACTUALLY ZIPS UP. hallelujah! i celebrated by eating burger king right before our fitting for keri's dresses. in retrospect, inhaling junk food five minutes before meeting the seamstress was probably not one of my brightest ideas to date but you know what, too bad, i was freaking hungry. i spent the rest of the weekend working, running around town shopping for all sorts of random crap. like this bra for one of the bridesmaids dresses that i swear requires a PhD in mechanical engineering to put on correctly. there are about fourteen different straps that all connect to nowhere (sort of like the rooms and stairs at the winchester mystery house in san jose. will somebody go with me sometime? that place looks like fun). i'm pretty sure i'm just going to end up throwing the bra from hell away on the day of the wedding and duct taping myself to the dress instead. it'll probably take off five layers of skin when i tear it off but hey, that is the price we pay for beauty. before i forget, can anybody PLEASE explain to me why some people act like complete morons when the lakers win a championship? overturning cars? torching newsstands? breaking into stores and stealing shoes? what's next, punching your mom? while i can sorta get people who show their ugliest sides in the aftermath of a crisis or natural disaster (i.e. hurricane katrina), i will never understand what on earth possesses somebody to stomp on the hood of a perfectly okay car when they're overcome with happiness. our society is filled with neanderthals. i wish they would just do us all a favor and accidentally set themselves on fire the next time they try to torch somebody else's property. i honestly don't know what i would do if i walked into my parking lot and found a bunch of people trying to tip my BMW over. i don't think it would be pretty, to say the least. anyway, i think kobe should threaten to leave the lakers if rabid fans continue acting like complete dumbasses. i know it'll never happen but it seems to me the only way to change people's behavior. oh who am i kidding, they'll probably riot even more if kobe leaves. WE'RE SCREWED. all right, no more procrastinating. i have a few more hours of work and then i'm up early tomorrow to get ready for a 8:00 conf call. man, i need a vacation desperately. since i'm too tired to write anymore, now would be a good time to bring back jigglypuff: OF STUPID RIOTERS ACTING LIKE RETARDS. 5:20 PM 6/21/2009 good god, i'm so exhausted i can't even think of what to write. i'll start with pictures: rehearsal dinner, aka the calm before the storm. the bride before the wedding, shoveling in a turkey sandwich while wearing UCSD shorts and a tanktop. two hours later. she cleaned up pretty nice, huh? the happy couple. erin only forgot her vows once during the ceremony. haha. lynn looks all happy here 'cause she didn't eat it or accidentally flash anybody up at the altar. all the ladies in the wedding party. it's hard to smile when your feet feel like somebody has taken a sledgehammer and bashed in all ten toes. i can't remember what we were laughing about here. me and lynn getting totally upstaged by the two adorable flower girls, amanda and ella. i think this picture traumatized brandon. cute! we took this one when the offical photographer was outside taking pictures of all 5 million members of erin's family. note that the guys are carrying the bridesmaid's bouquets and the flower girl's basket. nice cruddy-looking fence in the background. our moms are kinda crazy. but we love them anyways. the cake! we ate two slices. i mean, there are kids starving in africa, for pete's sake. what were we supposed to do, let food go to waste? the gate crew. next month it'll be keri in the wedding dress. and me and lynn still in the bridesmaids dresses. SIGH. it was a beautiful wedding. erin was a super calm bride, which was awesome. everything went according to plan and i didn't cry (it helped to think about how annoying it would be to have to reapply eyeliner again). we all managed to stay on our feet until one-something in the morning and the thought of amputation only crossed my mind once. also, lynn and i totally dodged the bouquet toss even though erin somehow managed to throw it straight to us. we backed away and the bouquet ended up landing on the ground, where everybody just kinda stared at it until keri picked it up. haha. let's see, what else...we had a moment of panic when the DJ called the entire wedding party to the dancefloor to join the first dance (see, this is why you should never go to weddings without a date). it felt like high school all over again. "go over there and ask him to dance!" "noooo i can't! what if he says no??" since the groomsmen didn't want to dance with us, lynn dragged a married man onto the floor and i borrowed jared. very sad. luckily the DJ stopped playing slow songs shortly thereafter so the rest of the night was fine and we didn't look like dateless losers. we took more pictures but unfortunately they are all on other people's cameras. i think there is one of me throwing up a gangsta backwards peace sign on the dance floor (i blame the kamikaze shot). let's hope that one gets deleted ASAP. towards the end of the night jj's parents came by to say bye and mr. fisher told me, "we gotta find you a nice young man. that james doesn't know what he's missing!" i texted james afterwards: "jj's dad says you don't know what you're missing." haha. somehow i don't think he's too heartbroken. anyways, after the wedding we ended up at roscoe's chicken and waffles. it's a good thing i love waffles with a passion otherwise i would have passed out right there at the restaurant. the entire drive home me and lynn were half delirious and rambling about nonsense. i'm STILL totally out of it now. so now i am going to work for a couple of hours and then crash. adios, kids. i'll upload more pics when i get my hands on them. have a great week. 6:49 PM 6/28/2009 thanks to modern-day networking magic (aka facebook), the picture of me flashing the gangsta peace sign has surfaced. i've posted it below because it's just a matter of time before you guys come across it anyways. smiling 'cause i know i look cool. doug the best man. here's erin taking the wedding rehearsal VERY seriously. us waiting at roscoe's. i feel obligated to write something here before i get into the next set of pictures. annie and nguyen's wedding was last night in santa ana. they are seriously the cutest couple ever, all lovey dovey without being sickeningly sweet. it was also my first vietnamese wedding, which was an interesting experience. here are my observations: 1. wow, vietnamese people really like cognac. 2. i mean, they REALLY like it. i've never seen so much remy being consumed before. 3. vietnamese chicks are pretty good at straddling the fine line between trashy and hot. 4. white guys wearing asian-print silk tunics? highly disturbing and NOT hot. 5. the gray/brown-ish jelly stuff that looks like liver is actually pretty tasty. i sat at the ucla table with johnny who got progressively drunker and redder as the night went on. by the time he stood up for his best man toast, he was pretty much gone. the speech wasn't too bad though. now that i think about it, it's hard to believe we've been out of college for six years - sometimes it feels more like six months. she looks so happy here! a blurry picture of me and johnny. last but not least, today was my cousin's kid's first birthday party at wilson park. it was a beautiful day to be outside - man, if i ever leave LA, i'll probably gonna miss the weather more than i miss my loved ones. kidding. sorta. callie was super happy all day and by far the cutest kid there (no, i am not biased). callie clapping her hands while everybody sings happy birthday! all the cousins. i was very tempted to dog-nap this shiba inu. richard and melody. my dad, wearing his yummy yogurt hat. bonus picture - i snapped this outside of jordan's house. aren't they cute?!