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	MARCH '08 ARCHIVES 5:53 PM 3/1/2008 tom: so you're thinking about going to the bahamas? connie: uh huh. tom: that's an interesting choice, because you're so anti-bathing suit in public. connie: oh dang it, i forgot about that. maybe i could wear a wet suit. actually, on second thought, they're not very flattering... tom: no, wet suits are great! they really hide your fat! connie:........ tom: uh...... connie: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!?!?!?! tom: no, no, no, that came out wrong - connie: DID YOU JUST....HIDE FAT.....TELL ME......WHAT KIND OF... tom: are you laughing or crying or what? all i'm hearing is high pitched squawking. connie: i'm not sure. but right now i'm taking a deep breath to start yelling again. tom: aw come on, you know what i was trying - connie: "THEY REALLY HIDE YOUR FAT?" I'M SORRY, WHAT?!?!!?!? tom: i was talking about my fat! MY wet suit hides MY fat! connie: shut up, you're skinny! don't give me that! tom: (laughing uncontrollably) man, you always read too much into my words. connie: i'm not sure how else one could interpret your statement, jackass! tom: sorry, sorry, poor word choice. how about um....wet suits are slenderizing? connie: .....now would be a good time to shut up before i end our friendship. 5:51 PM 3/6/2008 i usually avoid talking about politics on this page, mostly because it's such a controversial topic and can trigger a ton of hate e-mail from all the anonymous ~~haters~~ people out there who disagree with me. however, i feel obliged to contribute my two cents, mostly because i'm tired of hearing the candidates getting ripped apart by petty and pointless arguments. much to my own surprise, i've become a supporter of hillary clinton (i bet all my berkeley friends are groaning out loud right now - shut up and go back to making your hemp jewelry, ok?), and though she certainly has her faults, a majority of the comments opposing her candidacy are completely irrational and, for lack of a better word, idiotic. so here goes: THE STUPIDEST THINGS I'VE HEARD ABOUT WHY HILLARY CLINTON SHOULD NOT BE PRESIDENT: Her husband is a grade-A sleazeball. i'm not gonna argue with that. but why should a woman be judged by the actions of her husband? plenty of smart, decent people get romantically involved with losers (i speak from personal experience). though it's very tempting to slam her for staying with bill, her decision to remain with him was her own personal choice, and should not factor in the evaluation of her ability to lead a country with integrity, honesty and sound judgment. if our bosses at work started basing our performance reviews on our relationships with significant others (both past and present), i have a feeling many of us would be out of a job in about five minutes. She's not that smart. i might be wrong about this, but i don't know of too many dim-witted people who have managed to graduate from wellesley with honors, receive a J.D. from yale law and make partner at a law firm in less than 8 years. she speaks intelligently and has considerable experience in the political arena. and yet people don't think she's bright? what else do you need - proof of her MENSA membership? a nobel prize in quantum physics? just to put things in perspective, our current president barely scraped by with a C average in college. She clawed her way to the top. i can't stand hearing this argument because it's so blatantly sexist (and ignorant). for most people, it takes hard work to get to the top - why is it that men can be applauded for being aggressive and ambitious, whereas a woman gets labeled as catty and manipulative? as far as i'm concerned, the woman has legitimately earned every single bit of power she's amassed to date. yeah, so she was First Lady in the nineties - is there some rule that wives of presidents can't have their own political career as well? i have no problems with women who want something and take steps to achieve their goals, so long as the steps don't involve backstabbing and trampling over people to get there. She's going to ruin the country. talk about being melodramatic. i can't remember the last time an individual came close to singlehandedly wrecking the united states. remember the whole concept of checks and balances, people? if, heaven forbid, she begins to make some completely destructive decisions as president, i have enough faith in my fellow citizens to believe that something will be done to stop her before the entire country turns into a bunch of pot-smoking hippies. She's too weak to be president. ugh, first she's conniving and manipulative and now she's too weak. she doesn't cry and people label her as a cold hearted bitch. then she cries and people say she's either a big baby or a bad actress. she just can't win. look, people can be strong leaders and still cry occasionally. on the flip side, people can also be horrible leaders and never shed a tear. what's the real fear here - that she's gonna have a nervous breakdown while attempting to negotiate peace talks in the middle east? or possibly double our budget deficit from an insane shopping spree at neiman marcus 'cause she was having a bad day at work? give her some credit, i think she's held it together pretty well over the past decade or so. and here's a friendly note to some of you men out there: not all women are the hysterical, half-psychotic drama queens that you dated back in college. She's got zero personality. look, we're not voting for prom queen here. as long as she is competent, fair and level-headed, i could care less if she doesn't laugh enough (or laughs too much). besides, just because a person is especially charming or eloquent doesn't mean he or she is necessarily better qualified for the job. communication skills are important, but substance is crucial. She doesn't know anything about the lower/middle classes. click here, i don't have the patience to paraphrase her background. she was a champion for social causes even before she stumbled into the political spotlight. and while some of you may label her actions as insincere, you can't argue with the fact that she's invested considerable time and efforts in working with the underprivileged. more so than you and i have, that's for sure. She's a bitch! THAT'S the best argument you can come up with?!? go back to third grade and come back when you're mature enough to make intelligent arguments. and while you're at it, quit calling people rude names. all right, i'm done. i feel much better now. please don't send me any emails if you have the intellectual or psychological capacity of a six year old. on second thought, bring it on - i'll post it online so everybody can see how gifted you are. later, kids. 10:02 PM 3/16/2008 GO BRUINS! not much to update about. work is work. personal life is practically non-existent. i snuck away to south coast this afternoon and almost bought a bottega veneta purse in the prettiest shade of pale pink. the practical side of me won out and i walked out empty handed but now all i can think about is that bag. i went to bloomingdales to return the lousy kalliste stilettos that nearly killed me when both heels broke off (on separate days). uh, made in italy, my ass, they were probably from china. the bloomingdales saleslady didn't seem terribly concerned when i told her my story, complete with wild hand gestures. i was very nice at first but then i got a little ticked off because she was giving ME an attitude when it was HER stinking store that sold me subpar shoes for an outrageous price. honestly, i don't get snobby salespeople. lady, you make thirteen bucks an hour, plus commission. your sole objective is to get suckers like me to buy shoes. THAT'S IT. so would it kill you to be polite for five stinkin' minutes? "you work on commission, right? big mistake. BIG. HUGE! i have to go shopping now." anyways, i gotta get back to work so i'm signing off for now. i'll try to update later on this week when i'm up in sacramento for rabobank's tax provision. unless i am too busy playing with the cows, that is. adios. 1:10 AM 3/24/2008 well, i guess it was inevitable. i flew up to sacramento thursday, left my car at the ridiculously expensive parking lot and came back friday night to see this stuck under one of my windshield wipers: that's right, i got ticketed for not having a front license plate. in all honesty, i always knew it was just a matter of time before some cop noticed and called me out on it. i just thought it would be in connection with me doing something seriously illegal, like going 120mph at 1am on the 110 south (not that i would ever do such an unsafe and irresponsible thing. cough.). and while it's probably just a fix it ticket, i'd almost rather pay some lousy fifty-dollar fine than have to drive to the stinkin dealership and have them drill holes into my car to mount the license plate. look, i respect laws and all, but SERIOUSLY, the front bumper of my car looks so much better without a piece of metal nailed to it. and oh, way to go "officer" vincent, who actually took the time at 12 MIDNIGHT to walk all the way around to the front of my car and note the lack of a license plate while it was parked at LAX. thanks man. because the $44 i paid to the city of LA to leave my car in that lot for a little over 24 hours wasn't painful enough already. because i needed something extra fun to take care of during busy season. just a little note to all you other superficial bastards out there driving without front plates: keep it up, 'cause the more you guys get ticketed, the better i feel about myself. haha. all right, i'm out, it's another insane week at work for me. please make it stop. maybe if i refuse to fix the ticket i can get sent to jail and actually avoid working the next couple of weeks. YAY. later, everybody. 2:23 AM 3/29/2008 ugh, so tired. i've been sleep deprived all week but the past 48 hours have been a complete nightmare. in case any of you were wondering, it IS possible to get from downtown LA to imperial & hindry in about 25 minutes during rush hour, but only if you drive like a crazed maniac and have a friend on the phone who can bark out directions to you. "you hit la cienega?? no no no, turn back now!! you missed it!" i went to bed after one last night and woke up at five in a complete panic about the fedex package that had to be filed with the IRS today. it was a bad feeling. i tried to go back to sleep afterwards but my blackberry started blowing up around six, so i pretty much had no choice but to get up and start working. speaking of which, after i came home late last night i realized that i had misplaced my blackberry. i tore apart my car and every room in the house looking for it until i finally found it in the fridge. yes, the fridge. don't ask. this morning i jumped in the shower and noticed that i'm starting to lose a ton of hair, probably due to stress. nice, i guess it'll cut down on my blow-drying time in the mornings. when i finally crawled into work around 10:30, i looked down at myself to realize that i was wearing a sleeveless yellow polka dotted top with black pinstripe pants. apparently exhaustion turns you into a gigantic walking fashion faux pas. next week you will probably see me in jeans tucked into uggs and a muu muu. anyways, by mid afternoon, i had gotten everything that needed to be filed filed in DC, so i was a bit more relaxed. took off at six (man, i can't remember the last time i left work when the sun was still up) to make it back to torrance in time to play a tiny role in jerod's proposal to keri. you read that right, the girl is now engaged. the proposal was very sweet but it was cut short by me and lynn jumping out of the den and screaming like a bunch of banshees. uh, just as an FYI, that's NOT how i would like to be proposed to, but keri's weird like that. me and lynn were actually supposed to show up at a different part of the night, but we completely missed our cue as a result of some really lame miscommunication. we also had to eat two full cups of pinkberry yogurt as part of the master plan, which was pretty disgusting. luckily it all worked out at the end, which culminated in parking my car half a block away and making a mad sprint to keri's house to beat her home. she actually cried when jerod proposed. now you might be thinking, "uh, so what?", but in the 19 years i've known her, i've only seen her cry a handful of times. it was cute. all right, it's almost 3 am so i gotta crash. i'm back at work tomorrow, so come on by and visit me if you've got time to kill. bring chocolate too. oh, and if any cute females out there are looking for a 27 year old guy who will clean your stove at 2am in the morning, drop hans a line. chinese + filipino = innovative cheapass. how could you resist? the e-card that jack sent to cheer me up - i love it!!