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	NOVEMBER 07 ARCHIVES 10:36 PM 11/5/2007 i can't believe halloween is over. i had a grand total of 24 trick or treaters, which was quite sad considering how i bought nearly half of the chocolate supply in torrance (proof of why one should NEVER shop for halloween candy on an empty stomach). even sadder was the fact that i had a bunch of adult trick or treaters - i'm talking like, forty year olds, in regular clothes, holding plastic shopping bags from ralphs. it was beyond pathetic. i was pretty annoyed about giving free candy to people nearly twice my age, so lynn suggested i stock up on single packs of prunes next year. haha. or maybe cups of water with dissolved metamucil. mmmm, yum. btw, for all of you geniuses out there who are wondering why i didn't just slam the door on the losers, let me just say one thing: it is much less of a headache to hand over a baby ruth to a grown idiot than it is to scrape dried-up egg yolk and eggshells off your driveway. because you can bet that a 40 year old dork immature enough to beg for candy would also NOT be above egging random homes. you follow? okay then. anyways, i saw 30 days of night on friday. it made me realize two things: (1) DON'T live in barrow, alaska; and (2) if you DO live in barrow, alaska, keep a stockpile of guns and a strong UV light handy just in case a group of bloodsucking vampires from Eastern Europe decide to storm your village and drain every living person in sight. the movie was so preposterous that i had to watch most of it through my fingers (you know, to shield myself from the stupidity). then i caught gone baby, gone on saturday night and dude, casey affleck is totally cute. uh, i guess the movie was all right too. go see it. you can skip 30 days of night though - i'll summarize it for you right here: vampires storm village. vampires nearly wipe out entire population. vampires set village on fire to destroy evidence. main human purposely turns into a vampire to defeat head vampire (uh, what??). other vampires scurry off into the night to terrorize the rest of alaska. former human/good vampire dies. THE END. me and lynn went to MOCA on sunday afternoon to check out the murakami exhibit....only we made the mistake of going to the wrong museum. we parked at the one on grand, but it turns out that we were supposed to be at the geffen center in little tokyo. good one, lynn. oh wait, that was my dumbass mistake. good one, connie. we had already paid the six dollars for parking, so the helpful ticket lady told us to walk to the other location on foot, because "it's only fifteen minutes away, and all downhill!" i pointed out, "yeah, but it's uphill on the way back, right?" and she sorta frowned and said, "oh, yeah." of course, seeing as how neither of us had any cash left for parking in little tokyo, we realized that we didn't have much of a choice other than to hike the 1.1 miles to j-town. lynn didn't mind, since she wisely left the house that morning in a pair of running shoes. i, on the other hand, was not so smart and had on a pair of charles david heels. dude, if there were ever a mini marathon for chicks in stilettos, i'd win it, HANDS DOWN. long story short, we eventually made it to the correct museum to check out the artwork. most of it was totally charming, but other parts of it were um, just plain gross. you know those japanese freaks - can't decide between being ultra-cutesy or ultra-perverted. but the main thing i wanted to check out was the fully functional louis vuitton boutique within the museum, which houses all of the special edition bags designed especially for the exhibit by murakami. for a brief second i contemplated buying one as a collector's item, but then i took a look around and realized that every asian/filipino/vietnamese hoochie was standing in line to drop a grand on painted canvas and cheap strips of leather. all that for a status symbol (and a rather tacky one at that)? no thanks, murakami - i'd rather spend the money on a bag that's actually worth its price in terms of craftsmanship and quality. sorta like this one: this bag is $140K, believe it or not. that's right, you can either drive a ferrari, or carry a crocodile/diamond birkin. what's it gonna be??? as a general disclaimer, i love purses and all, but you'd have to be on CRACK to shell out $140K on a purse. on the other hand, you'd be the most stylish crackhead on the block, so i guess it's all good. all right, enough nonsense. hope everybody's having a fabulous november. soon it's gonna be christmas. have you guys decided what to get me yet? no? well, here's a suggestion. i'll even name him/her after you! unless you have a crappy name, that is. p.s. if you can look at this picture of the shiba inu and NOT feel compelled to pet your computer screen, you have a heart of stone. seriously. 6:47 PM 11/11/2007 i am such a horrible updater. i'm sorry. here's a funny picture from odani: uh, happy "232th" birthday, marines. good thing you aren't defending our country at the worldwide spelling bee championships. nothing much has been going on lately. actually a ton of stuff has been going on but i can't remember any of it right now, so....yeah. i went to my personal trainer for the first time today (don't laugh, he came free when i finally broke down and got a 24 hour fitness membership, okay?). it was both an enlightening and depressing experience. there's nothing quite like holding up your shirt on the gym floor and letting a buff black dude measure your body fat using calipers, followed by the ear-splitting proclamation of your weight to everybody standing within a two block radius of the gym (honestly, he could have spared himself the effort and just used the PA system instead of having to bellow it out to the entire world). all right, i'm exaggerating - slightly. it doesn't make the whole affair any less traumatic, though. in any case, my trainer must have thought i needed all the help i can get, because he then proceeded to WORK. ME. OUT. for the remaining 45 minutes of the session, despite telling me in advance that the first meeting is usually "pretty laid back and easy." oh god, maybe that WAS his laid back and easy session, and i really am going to die next week. i was pouring sweat by the time we were finished, and i almost felt bad for him because he had to look at me the entire time and it must not have been a pretty sight. of course, the little bit of sympathy vanished immediately when he ended the session by telling me to go do 25 more minutes of cardio. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. he patted my back and called me a trooper and i might have socked him for being so condescending if only i could get one of my arms to function properly. dude, if i don't see results by next february, it's seriously freakin' gastric bypass/liposuction time. 'cause that's the AMERICAN way of doing things. i'm totally kidding about gastic bypass/liposuction. i'm way too scared of needles and blood to voluntarily go under the knife. i just wish there were an easier way to get hot than through sweating buckets and um, eating right. i'm still convinced humans were not made to survive on healthy food like celery and lean chicken. otherwise why would donuts taste so good!?!? i mean, hello. all right, enough of that. i'm in santa monica and westwood for two separate client meetings tomorrow, which means i get to sit on the 405 for a good two hours or more. but i'll be glad to be near my alma mater again (go bruins). i was originally gonna stop by diddy riese but on second thought, if i have to eat bland, tasteless food, there is no way i'm gonna bring back yummy cookies for you all to enjoy. ha. so there. my first pair of tod's shoes. they're a little on the stuffy/boring side. uh, sorta like me. p.s. if you're nodding in agreement right now, i will chop your head off. have a pleasant day. 11:21 PM 11/21/2007 today i discovered that it's a piece of cake to take off a long-sleeved shirt, a tank top and a regular bra and put on a sports bra and a different tank top while driving 35 mph on the 405 south at 6pm. but i strongly advise that you only try it during the winter months, when it gets dark pretty early, otherwise you might find yourself either causing a wreck or sitting in jail. lynn: whoa you were TOPLESS? on the 405!?!? connie: oh, for like a whoppin' ten seconds, big deal. lynn: what if somebody saw you?! connie: then i'd make their night. and don't tell me you've never done it before! lynn: no way, that's dangerous! i've only changed pants. jeez. right, because taking your foot off the brake to pull your legs out of a pair of pants and squirm into a new pair is WAY safer than whipping a shirt over your head. all joking aside, we all do some seriously scary things while driving. my sister has eaten a bowl of rice (with chopsticks!), i've painted my nails, taken notes for a conference call, typed on my laptop, and probably, at one time or another, done all three of the above at the same time. hmm, come to think of it, it's a miracle i don't get into an accident every other month. if anything, that makes me an EXTRA good driver, considering how i only need to devote five percent of my brain power to paying attention to the road. now i'm going to change topics before somebody at the DMV stumbles across this site and revokes my license. anyway, i saw enchanted tonight and it was ridiculously sappy, which of course means i loved it. i feel sorry for all of you disney-haters out there - you're really missing out. oh see, now you're rolling your eyes because you have no heart and you think i'm immature. whatever. maybe one day somebody will come along to melt that icy exterior of yours, only to discover that yes, you really are frozen all the way through. haha. ok, i need to sleep and pack and think about what to cook tomorrow for thanksgiving. yes, that's right, i'm cooking, AGAIN, for the second time this year. will wonders never cease? in honor of thanksgiving, here is a slightly different version of my annual list of things i am grateful for: THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR NOT HAVING: 1. any gross diseases. 2. a seriously dysfunctional family (i'm okay with mildly dysfunctional) 3. vegetarian tendencies. 4. poor taste in men (nowadays). 5. five kids, all from different fathers. 6. an ugly car. 7. to match my ugly wardrobe. 8. a boring job with cruddy pay. 9. friends with no sense of humor. 10. a degree from USC. HAHAHA. and there you have it. have a fabulous week, kids, and enjoy your days off. i know i will. :)