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SEPT 06 3:51 PM 9/3/2006less than two weeks until 9/15. i am so freakin' tired it's not even funny. you would think my body would be used to busy season by now. i think it's actually getting worse with every passing year. or maybe i'm just getting really old. ugh, how depressing. and while i am on the subject of depression, here is an excerpt from a conversation i had with my coworker earlier this week: coworker: hey connie, you workin' late tomorrow? connie: nope, i have a date. coworker: uh, right. so you're workin' late tomorrow? connie: no seriously, i'm going out. coworker: how many times do we have to go over this? it's not a date if you're having dinner with your laptop. connie: fine, shut up, i don't have a date. you know what, one day in the distanct future i REALLY am gonna have a legitimate date and everybody will be astounded. i'll probably have to take pictures as proof cuz nobody will believe me. but you just wait. it'll happen. anyway, as usual, everything fun happens during the last part of summer when i have absolutely no free time. everybody is home and wants to go out and have fun and i am stuck in the office night and day, trying to field phone calls from friends and future husbands (i.e. wayne and johnny) who want to know how on earth i can work so much all year around. speaking of my future husbands, one is rapidly turning into a raging alcoholic (don't deny it, wayne, you must be like, 40% alcohol by volume now) and the other is tryin to dig himself out of debt after making some very risky investment decisions (and i am sure you will emerge victorious and a much better person, johnny). but seriously, i thought my husband(s) would support ME, not the other way around. where did i go wrong? now i need a 3rd backup. no offense guys, but i was never born to be somebody else's sugar mommy. ;)  don't ask me how we ended up wearing red, white and blue. it wasn't planned, i swear.  noshi sushi! em looks fabulous. me and lynn inexplicably look pregnant. that's hot. 1. DO NOT ASK ME IF I WANT TO GO ON VACATION WITH YOU ANYTIME BEFORE 9/15. 2. DO NOT CALL ME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW YOU HAD TO WORK UNTIL 8PM YESTERDAY AND YOU'RE "SOOO TIRED." 3. IF I DON'T RETURN YOUR E-MAIL OR VOICEMAIL RIGHT AWAY, DON'T KEEP HARASSING ME UNTIL I DO. THAT MAKES ME CRANKY. 4. DON'T TELL ME I NEED TO GET A NEW JOB OR FIND A NEW PROFESSION. DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW ALREADY? 5. DON'T ASK ME LONG, COMPLICATED AND DUMB QUESTIONS DURING THE WORKDAY. TIME IS MONEY, PEOPLE. I WILL CHARGE YOU IF YOU TAKE UP MORE THAN 10 MIN OF MY TIME WITH STUPID TOPICS OF CONVERSATION. 6. IF I LOOK/SOUND CRANKY, DO NOT JOKINGLY TELL ME TO "STOP BEING A SUCH B*TCH." 7. WHEN I PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE FOR CALLING ME A B*TCH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T CRY LIKE A LITTLE B*TCH. 8. IF I CALL YOU UP A FEW WEEKS LATER TO TELL YOU I'M REALLY SORRY FOR PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE, BE A MAN AND ACCEPT THE DAMN APOLOGY. okay that's it. XOXO to all my friends out there keeping me sane during these insane times. i love you all (no really, i mean it, despite all my ranting above). i don't know what i would do without you guys, and i try to remind myself everyday of how lucky i am to have friends who put up with my crankiness. now please, if you're bored, come bring me food at work because i will literally vomit blood if i have to eat cpk one more time. :) later, y'all. p.s. i am leaving eazy e's verse in "foe tha love of $" below because i have to listen to it twenty times every mornin on my commute up to work in order to get myself ready for the day. I LOVE IT. excuse the profanity. Standin' on the corner straight slangin' rocks, Aww, sh*t, here comes the motherf*ckin' cops! So I dash, I ducks, and I hides behind a tree, Makin' sure the motherf*ckers don't see me. Now my fat sack of rocks hell yeah i stuffed 'em Police on my draws, i had to pause And yeah, it's still motherf*ck 'em, Now my game is tight, tight as f*ck is my game Easy motherf*ckin' E or Eric Wright it's all the same, Now n*****s might trip on how I stash my grip I gotta have it b*tch For the love of this sh*t (MOTHERF*CKER!!!) man, they just don't make songs like that anymore. RIP, eazy e. for the love of this sh*t! 10:36 PM 9/5/2006  doesn't this make you want to cry? it's horrible! RUN!!!! 3. after i was rudely accused by tom earlier today for being completely useless in his quest to find a decent date to his coworker's wedding, keri and i slapped together THIS WEBPAGE in 15 minutes to shut him up. expect it to become much more elaborate over this weekend - everybody out there in cyberland better help me circulate this link. "completely useless," my ass. i don't think so. 4. as much as it pains me to admit this, i'm hopelessly addicted to justin timberlake's latest single, "My Love." only he could make lyrics sound drop-dead sexy AND totally sweet at the same time. i think it has something to do with his creepy falsetto. in any case, listen to it here. If I wrote you a symphony, Just to say how much you mean to me (what would you do?) If I told you you were beautiful Would you date me on the regular (tell me, would you?) Well, baby I've been around the world But I ain't seen myself another girl (like you) This ring here represents my heart But there's just one thing I need from you (say "I do") Yeah, because I can see us holding hands Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand I can see us on the countryside Sitting on the grass, laying side by side You could be my baby, let me make you my lady Girl, you amaze me Ain't gotta do nothing crazy See, all I want you to do is be my love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) Ain't another woman that can take your spot, my love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) Ain't another woman that can take your spot, my love Now, if I wrote you a love note And made you smile with every word I wrote (what would you do?) Would that make you want to change your scene And wanna be the one on my team (tell me, would you?) See, what's the point of waiting anymore? Cause girl I've never been more sure (that baby, it's you) This ring here represents my heart And everything that you've been waiting for (just say "I do") Yeah, because I can see us holding hands Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand I can see us on the countryside Sitting on the grass, laying side by side You could be my baby, let me make you my lady Girl, you amaze me Ain't gotta do nothing crazy See, all I want you to do is be my love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) Ain't another woman that can take your spot, my love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) My love (So don't give away) Ain't another woman that can take your spot, my love what girl in her right mind could resist a guy if he approached her with a song like this? NOT ME. ok, i'm out. wish me luck in getting through the last 10 days of busy season. much love to my friends who continue to do a fabulous job of keeping me sane - you guys know who you are. i promise i will make it all up one way or another. now please, go find tom a date. 12:20 AM 9/11/2006  never forget.... so i was heading home on the 110s tonight from work around 10:30 pm when i almost hit the center divider and blew out my back left tire (or i could have blown out the tire and then almost hit the center divider - still trying to work out the sequence of events). before i knew it, i was skidding across three lanes. i remember thinking, "connie, you FREAKIN' IDIOT, DID YOU JUST TOTALLY OVERCOMPENSATE!? QUICK, WHAT DID THE DMV MANUAL SAY TO DO IN THIS SITUATION?" then i tried to regain control of the car and flew across all three lanes AGAIN. somehow i ended up completely backwards, with the front right part of my bumper kissing the center divider and me facing oncoming traffic flying towards me at 75+ mph. yeah, not a good situation. as soon as i came to a complete stop i almost laughed out loud, because 1) i wasn't driving my own car since IT BROKE DOWN YESTERDAY AND I HAD TO GET IT TOWED BACK TO MY HOUSE, and 2) I WASN'T DEAD. then i thought about my insurance premiums skyrocketing and having to tell my parents what happened and i wasn't so relieved anymore. anyway, there was no good way to get out and get to safety, so i had to resort to staying in the car, waiting for CHP to come and flashing my high-beams at traffic so i wouldn't get hit. there were a few close calls though, and several times i thought about how pissed i would be if i didn't die from the original accident but from somebody crashing into me instead. so the CHP eventually came (so polite, i was pleasantly surprised), pushed me off to the nearest exit, examined my car, told me i was insanely lucky to not have gotten hit, and called the tow truck driver for me. 15 minutes and one tire change later, i was on my way home. i inspected the damage again once i was back in torrance - there are some ugly scratches to the front right part of the bumper, but that's it. oh yeah, and the blown out tire of course. i almost didn't believe it - i had to walk around the car five times just to make sure i wasn't missing something. i don't know how i managed to avoid hitting other cars - i'd like to say it was due to my superior car handling skills, but i think it was just pure luck. anyway, i'm exhausted now, so i'll write more later...but i just want to say thanks to the following people: 1. the CHP officers who got there in 5 minutes and were awfully nice to me, 2. the four concerned citizens who stopped to make sure i was okay (including one hot asian dude - what are the odds?), 3. the tow truck driver, for not being crazy, 4. lynn, who waited for me to get towed home so she could hand me the keys to her 4runner just in case i needed it to get to work tomorrow, 5. my sister, who broke the news to my parents for me because it would have seriously freaked out my mom and confused my dad if i had told them myself over the phone. if i were more eloquent, i would write something deep about taking today to remind ourselves to appreciate everything good about this country. but i'm tired and emotionally drained, so all i will say is this: find some time to think about the people whose lives were lost five years ago. be grateful for your loved ones and thank all the brave soldiers who sacrifice so much to serve this beautiful country. we once swore to never take anything for granted ever again - remember that vow today. 1:15 PM 9/16/2006 i had all these good ideas for what i was gonna do right after september 15th. nothing really extravagant - all i wanted to do was go shopping, get out of LA for a little bit, see my friends after neglecting them for forever, eat lots of good food (i.e. anything BUT cpk and quizno's), and watch practically every movie in the theaters. and while i'm fairly certain none of my plans involved BEING THE ONLY LOSER TO COME INTO WORK ON THE SATURDAY AFTER THE FIFTEENTH, here i am, sitting at my desk and freezing my ass off because the A/C is on full blast and nobody else is around to warm the place up.  WHY WON'T IT END!?!?  ok, last one, i promise. p.s. can you believe 2pac has been "dead" for 10 years already? now it's all about versace, you copied my style, five shots couldn't drop me, i took 'em and smiled, now i'm back to set the record straight, with my A-K i'm still the thug that you love to hate, motherf***** i hit 'em up! hey, i feel a little better already... 12:57 AM 9/24/2006 one more week 'til my favorite month of the year. i am almost over the retardedness of my extended 9/15 deadline. and yes, "retardedness" is a real word, go look it up in the dictionary if you don't believe me (or you could try challenging me in scrabble like eunice and end up getting your ass kicked...badly). so i took yesterday off from work to go to sea world with the deputy - i got stuck with driving duty after i lost three games of rock, paper, scissors. apparently i am not the RPS champion of the universe like i used to be. as usual, i somehow ended up on the wrong freeway ("oh man, what am i doing on the 805!?") and had to call tom for help. honestly, who needs a expensive navigation system in the car as long as you've got a cell phone and a friend with a computer? fortunately, my minor detour wasn't too far off the 5 south and i only had to put up with about 20 minutes of trash talking about my horrible sense of direction. tom: "how did you manage to get off the 5!? it's not that hard to get down to san diego!" deputy: "what would you have done if i hadn't woken up in time!? weren't you paying attention? jeez!" me: "I DON'T KNOW!! just shut up and get me back to the right freeway!" we eventually made it to san diego around 11. wandered around the park and checked out a bunch of cute animals, including shamu (the 20th reincarnation, that is) and dolphins (does anybody else worry about how smart they are? i mean, they could take over the world one day). the park closed at six, went back to the mission bay hilton resort to shower and change, and then headed out to gas lamp to eat. we were so tired we were back in the hotel and in bed by 10:30. the hotel was pretty standard but i got upgraded to a room right on the beach - literally, all i had to do was open the screen door, walk 20 feet, and then i'd be standing in the sand. i've been in some pretty fancy hotels for work, but i don't think i've had such great view before. i slept for a good nine and a half hours (so good, it was almost disgusting), and then got up in the morning to walk on the beach again for a little bit. ate breakfast at the restaurant on the bay, and then drove back home and made it back to torrance by 1.  a magellan penguin. i would have stolen one if it weren't like, you know, illegal.  so cute!  the bay right outside our patio  my room was on the 1st level, 3rd from the right... now i'm packing again because i'm flying out to vegas for work tomorrow night...i booked a suite at THEhotel if anybody feels like visiting me. i'll be there until tuesday night, and then i'm coming back wednesday afternoon to make it to the john mayer concert in irvine (thanks to my 3-fold utopian dream for the fabulous tickets, i owe you one). on a depressing note, work is gonna come kick my ass again in a little less than two weeks. so i guess i might as well enjoy this little break as much as i can in the meantime. have a fabulous week, everybody...i'll update more when i get back from vegas. 10:35 PM 9/28/2006 back from vegas and on my sixth cup of coffee. it's been a long, long day. vegas was ok, aside from the fact i didn't do anything fun and was so lonely i was about to shoot myself. went out to a decent dinner at capital grille tuesday night, but it dragged on for so long i actually found myself wishing i had ordered room service instead. after ingesting approximately $200 worth of food (and wine), i went home, packed, and flew back to orange county yesterday afternoon. took a taxi from the airport to the EY office and got hit on by my cab driver after engaging in obligatory small talk: him: are you korean? me: no, i'm taiwanese. him: i see. well, you are a beautiful woman. me: oh, thank you. him: you have a very pretty smile. i guess it was worth the wait of two and a half hours at the taxi stand just to drive you one mile to von karman. me: um, thank you, that's very nice of you. i'm sorry about the short drive. him: hey, no problem. i told you, it's worth it. so...i get off at 8. can i take you out? me: what? wait, i think we missed von karman. him: don't worry, i know where we are going. so can i take you out? me: uh, i'm busy, sorry. the fare was only seven dollars but i tipped him an extra five because i felt bad. later on, one of my male coworkers helpfully pointed out that the cab driver probably didn't even think i was hot at all and just wanted to guilt trip me into giving him some extra cash. i was like, "oh. well that sucks." i should really look into getting the "HI, I'M A SUCKER" tattoo removed from my forehead sometime soon. so i left at five to eat dinner and make it to the john mayer/sheryl crow concert by 7 with my boyfriend. and of course, with my crappy luck, i got stuck sitting next to yet another weirdo who was stoned/drunk outta his mind. he also had a full blown asian fetish, which was a bit disturbing. i'm not even going to recap that particular conversation because it was so gross. i actually wished aloud i had brought my gun with me. luckily we managed to escape his sleaziness halfway into sheryl crow's set due to some complicated seat mix-up. the concert itself was awesome. sheryl crow was amazing, and though john mayer is currently in serious need of a makeover, his voice is still as beautiful as ever. my date was hot/funny/smart, although i think the both of us wished that the other was a cute boy. btw, one time in college me and eunice had a heated debate about which one of us had to get the sex change operation so that we could date each other - after arguing for 15 minutes ("no, YOU have to be the guy because YOU would look better in a tux!"), we decided to rock-paper-scissors for it and I WON, which means she's off to thailand sometime soon. ha. told you you'd look better in a tux. well, that was a completely retarded update. i apologize. remind me not to post when i am running on minimal amounts of sleep. TGIF. have a fabulous weekend, everybody. |
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Copyright 2006 Connie Cheng
